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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My hippie with beautiful eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1034
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 859



    Description:
       John has beautiful eyes. This piece was a twenty minute spew of how much of an awesome friend he is and how much I luff him.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy hippie with beautiful eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    He's a bad boy,
    Adorable in corduroy,
    With a gauged ear,
    Lacking evident fear.

    The secrets torn as I lay dying,
    Just truth, promise me no lying,
    Connect with my mind,
    My hippie so kind.

    Rays of sun come through the barn door,
    And it's smokey, and I want some more,
    The wraiths are beautiful, you say,
    As we sat cross-legged in mounds of hay.

    Drummers do it with rhythm you know,
    He's as individual as a flake of fresh snow,
    Electric tape and black ankle socks,
    John Kogut fucking rocks.

    He knows how to smoke that cigarette,
    Blows shotguns that can make a girl wet,
    But he's still just John boy with a charming smile,
    To help a friend he'd walk on flypaper over a mile.




    Submitted on 2006-01-08 15:27:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      It was so sweet, and haphazard in that wonderful way. It makes me grin.
    I really liked it alot, and it left me in a good mood. I hope things can continue between you like this.
    The rhyming and rhythm were excellent.
    I can understand what your saying, as well as what i think which is rare in most poems. It's not so dreary or just blah like most poems on this site.
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      I love that. I think I'm kind of speechless. It's really the best I've read in a while. I have nothing negative to say. My favorite part is:

    "Rays of sun come through the barn door,
    And it's smokey, and I want some more,
    The wraiths are beautiful, you say,
    As we sat cross-legged in mounds of hay."

    That is awesome. I love every word. Very nicely done

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting nice rhyming and flow. background music seemed to play in my head while i read this. it seems like a throw on, you know something that just came to you. some of the lines didnt really flow well with others but the overall quality made for a nice read. keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-08 00:00:00 | by withouthope | [ Reply to This ]


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