I do like this version better, except for the ending. I think you should have left that as it was. adding 'the writer' throws it off. and there's something about threes that I remember being told when listing things, use only three. anyway, this is shaping up nicely. it's more together, more cohesive. nice job, Chrystine! and don't mind my nitpicking--some of my suggestions might be useful to you but they are certainly not the last word. I have a long way to go before I can realistically give good writing advice!
I liked this but something about it bothered me. too many silvers, rocks and streams I think but I get the drift and see what you were trying to do. maybe a rewording somehow although I have no idea what would make it better specifically. I do like the way you ended it and the imagery of the third stanza. it's good but I think it needs a little something more. maybe more variety in your images. aaaarrgh!! I don't know. still a nice piece! don't mind me.
Wow, no comments what where those 1st five thinking. I really like this piece. I wish it was a little longer, but just so that I would have more of it to read. You might not like this suggestion, but how about omitting the last 2 lines, and changing the title to I am the Water, the Stone, the Student okay, maybe not, but I do like that line, minus the "While here:" but I don't think it's a good fit at the end, maybe you could repeat "I am the Water, the Stone, the Student" throughout the piece to give the piece balance. Does that make any sense? I'm still thinking the title should be more (although I shouldn't talk because I still have one "untitled" Another thought, how about *making me smooth* instead of "to make ..." Anywho, I enjoyed the read, it feels almost classic. Very Nice! Nicely