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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Who Is She?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Qutedia7
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 54/70/31
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Rant/Longing
    Total Views: 208
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 687



    Description:
       its a simple poem. no one may get the soncept but who cares? comment plz.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWho Is She?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I look in the mirror, who do I see? Is It me or someone else? Is the person fake or real? Please tell me, I'm dying to know. She looks lyke me but there's something different. It's her heart, something is missing. A big piece of her. She is mourning, what's wrong? I don't know, it's so hard to tell, because of the thickness of her skin. She doesn't take crap for anyone. She's a soldier. But look really deep inside her, can u see something? Yes. It's her soulmate and he is lost. He can't find her and she can't find him. Their love is lost. Don't let your love become lost. Go find it before it disappears. Go now.....




    Submitted on 2006-01-09 18:16:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      lol i'm going to have to agree with the other commenters, this piece does need structure, because without it, it sort of becomes more like a rant/vent. the person in this piece must have been through alot to not care anymore, i sometimes feel that way, although it never usually stays, but then i feel like i'm left with nothing but reminders, i didn't particually like the ending, i think in a way it ruined the whole feel and emotion you where potraying, and by ending with a command somehow effects how i then veiw the rest of the poem.
    ++My Pain++
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think this could be considered a poem. I guess it's more like a rant. Might try using a structure? Maybe then it would be a little better. o.o
    And I'm sorry but the concept of this, though understandable, could be a little better. 3:
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      I get the concept ...And i wasnt actually going to comment ...but seeing as you asked for it :)

    I understand the thought behind this ...but it would be alot better recieved with a little structure ...I don't know ...it seems a little messy for me ...And seeing as i was sitting there trying to adjust to how it was written ..the meaning seemed less important ...Maybe making some of the more important parts stand out on seperate lines would help to concentrate the emotions
    | Posted on 2006-01-09 00:00:00 | by Krysti | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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