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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: lyrical shitdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: maninthemirror
    ASL Info:    17/m/arkansas
    Elite Ratio:    2.64 - 224/318/109
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 686
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 891



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslyrical shitdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the aberrant kings, you know the name
    been chillin just outside the game
    but now we breaking down the walls
    we in the house, walkin down the halls
    got the flow to burn it bitch, thats just within a pause
    you hear the beat stop, and then it falls
    now, I rock a crown upon the wrist
    imitate kings cut, and see your blood mist
    death, pain, and brainstormin, lyricall madness
    stab myself in the chest and bleed out lyrical passion
    bleed out my life onto a demo tape, nobody take me serious
    cut you up and kill your fam., I bet that now your hearin us
    dropin bombs like the taliban, rockin ak's
    and I'ma murder this democracy and set it a blaze
    fuck becomin rich man, ain't nothin I've ever had
    and so I guess this verse is over hear come the chorus at you ass




    Submitted on 2006-01-09 18:58:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I think that you started something here that just needs to be finished. You have mad style and you are doing your thing. Some artists choose to see what they want to see...instead of looking into the mind of the one that wrote it. They want to judge from what they want to see instead of judge from your mind frame.

    *shrugs*

    i liked it!

    Mad love,

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I wish I could hear the beat you were listening to when you were writing this. Maybe you didn't have a beat? I think the overall quality is great, but the structure of the piece needs a little work. Great job altogether, hope I can read more of these !
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by CLIT Comander | [ Reply to This ]
      u need a better flow. but ur rhyming was on point. these were my favorite lines:

    got the flow to burn it [censored], thats just within a pause
    you hear the beat stop, and then it falls

    u seem like a bonafide battle rapper. take no [censored] from no one and quick to issue challenges and kick ass and take names. good job
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
      i know i alreacdy read the [censored] before u even posted it but imm still give u a cooment on it like i already said i thought it was good u kinda lose me in a few place but its all good iunderstand still tryin 2 develope a flow just like oh yeah nice journal post dont worry it will be okay
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by heavy knowledge | [ Reply to This ]


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