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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: perhaps....dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: my pain
    ASL Info:    16/F/aust
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 191/123/39
    Words: 128
    Class/Type: Rant/The pain inside
    Total Views: 698
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 718



    Description:
       ok this one all i can say is its rather weird, kinda in a depressed/venting mood, tell me what you think


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsperhaps....dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Perhaps
    the mountains which reach for freedom alone, the sea which silently screams for all eternity...maybe just maybe, you can see and hear, their silent pleas, feel their need to fufill their dreams... but never will it be dreams are bound to heed us still, daunted are we by the fact that tomorrow, may never come to rest in our hands our dreams could be torn apart, and leave us to live with the age old lie *laughs* the rock in your life may one day break and forever will you hide within, never forgetting what had once been, locked behind that memory, lost in a world of unknown screaming all alone, like the mountains screaming for freedom, like the screaming sea, always herd but never understood....




    Submitted on 2006-01-10 01:14:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this feels like some winding monologue that would happen between dreams. a thought that matters enough to break into the forefront, but still not quite figured out. I love that feeling. At least, that is how it appears to me.
    | Posted on 2006-02-05 00:00:00 | by notune | [ Reply to This ]
      Very very good. As I read it, to me it seemed like something a sensei would say to his apprentice. This is more that just weird, itís totally insane but in a good way. I'm gonna add this to my fav list and read it until it gives me nightmares. It deserves a solid 9.5 out of 10.

    Sincerely yours with a bloody kiss,
    Naymless
    | Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by Naymless | [ Reply to This ]
      I really enjoyed this alot. You had very ellegent & beautiful descriptions here.
    They all lead to a deeper meaning, all those question pilling into nothing.

    I love the way you started & ending the poem very much the same. You started it talking about nature, its cries... then you went onto a trail of dreams & hopes, life. Then again you come back & end it with cries.
    They are lost, unheard.

    Very creative, well writen & captivating.
    take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is a very emotional and well worded write
    I for one believe strongly we are never alone
    And I really liked how you started this poem with the word Perhaps
    Very Nicely Done
    God Bless
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      very poweR ful and true... i enjoyed reading it
    i am sure that if you made it longer, you could have put a lot more emotions in to it... but its a matter of opinion..
    usuallyi dont enjoy these types of poems, but this one was an exeption
    thanks for sharing
    john*

    ps. thanks for commenting on Death of Life
    I didn't write it, my cousin did
    glad you liked it though
    she has an account not though
    it would be great if you cheacked out her poems
    i'm sure you'll like them
    her link is :
    "www.eliteskills.com/u/darkestlight
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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