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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Thoughts that's Don't Existdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Writer Chic
    ASL Info:    15/F/at my house
    Elite Ratio:    4.83 - 100/101/26
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 336
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 560



    Description:
       this poem was just something random that I wrote, I was kinda angry at the the time. Does this poem send out angry vibes??


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThoughts that's Don't Existdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It was never at a time like this that I thought things could get better. I hoped for an improved tomorrow, everyday, thinking it would come. I wished that one-day, I would come to a fork in the road. And from there, I could begin again. I held onto the hope of a new day, a new beginning and the verge of an ending. I clung to the belief that one day I would be free from my remorse. I clung to a thoughg that didn’t exist in reality. In my world, I revised new ways to cope with my newly found depression. As escapism it worked, but as a resolution it didn’t.




    Submitted on 2006-01-10 05:54:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yah. that was a pretty good and deep write. I liked how short it was, sometimes the shortest ones really tell the most about how deep the feeling is that was written about. Life sucks sometimes, speacialy when your expecting the most of what your delt and find something that makes you smile only depending on it till you get hurt by the salvation that was your shoulder.
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by jermwerm | [ Reply to This ]
      You've created a good start. I don't really care for the form you chose, but as the writer that's your preference. Also you really need to sort out the mis-spelled words and grammar mistakes....
    You've mis-spelled thought twice.. Missing the t from the end, i expect this is only a typo, but it still takes a bit away from your piece....
    The next point is this line
    "I my world I revised new ways"
    I my world I" i re-read that bit about five times trying to make sense of it but i couldn't.

    All the mistakes aside, i kind of like the way you displayed depression in this piece it makes a change from all the moaning and angry pieces that are usually posted under the depression catergory.. A few minor tweaks and mayve revise the form you've chosen and you could have a good piece...
    Take Care
    Danny
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      Not angry with others, but vibes of being walled in be the inner feelings. We all at times feel like the raod has come to some gigantic cliff where its jump or be pushed the bottom awaits you! That proverbial Fork in the road we are looking for is not ahead but sometimes behind us, we passed it up. We oftimes need to just stop and look back, I know they say keep your eyes straight ahead, but thats for the one who has not gotten lost.
    When that "LOST" feeling hits us, look back, you will see the right turn and a yield sign, merge into life's traffic and get up to speed!
    If I was given your age all over again, I'd have a Pulitzer Prize in ever catagory! You have that life to live, GO FOR IT!
    GREAT READING here, I did enjoy the thoughts this provoked for me to think on.
    Later
    | Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by Clayton | [ Reply to This ]



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