"You fall in lust... you grow in love..." Those words have echoed though my head throughout the night. Those inspiring words compelled me the first time they seeped out my Mom's mouth, but those words are so true and so many people fail to acknowledge it. Lately, a lot of dudes have been holla'n at me, which is all well and cool. If that's how they feel, who am I to stop a person from the feelings and emotions they feel? But most of them haven't really came at me in a manner that was approachable through my eyes. Most of them come at me about sex, and I'm worth more then just fuckin' a nigga until sweat drop down their balls and their toes curl.
Right now, I'm overwhelmed with issues corrupting my head, that I don't believe I need to be with anyone else to bring my old drama into a new relationship. Some people hold onto their old baggage, and bring it into a new home and it brings dreadful and painful past and future experiences. I like how Coldplay says it, "Am I apart of the cure? Or am I apart of the disease?" So instead of hurting people, I'm isolating myself to myself. Right now, I want to stay to myself until my heart has finally healed from the emotional wounds left from my past. Some won't understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Others will know that some people have to exile themselves or take a sabbatical away from issues to deal and cope with what's making them cry, and erect themselves up to a stronger position. These words that are being typed out are real... these are the words from the Kevin Entzminger many people overlook. These are the words of eloquence most niggaz would rather said fuck to, and just fuck on... but instead, it fucks with me, and in the end, I said, "Fuck you."
My homeboy Twann said, "I'm not gonna' go out lookin' for love. I'mma let love look for me," and I think that's true. I know when I was with my ex, I wasn't looking for him at all, but he just seeped his way in the picture and next thing I knew, we was together for 15 months. So next week when I start Chapter II of South Carolina State, I'm going down there focused. I'm not going there to see who looks good, and who would be the right nigga' to fuck with... but instead, I'm thinking about my future - working hard now, so I don't have to work hard later. My goals of owning my own house, with my own car, and having my finances stable enough that I can Cater 2 my shorty and my friends is underway, and I can't let love stop me. I have to breakforth the emotional scars, let them heal, and pursue all my dreams.
Kevin Entzminger is worth more than a good ride, or a smashed ass. I do my thing when it comes to sex, but I have emotions... feelings, and I long for the essence of being in pure bliss instead of the feeling of my dick in a chick's pussy. My dreams... my accomplishments... my failures and my setbacks is what makes me, not my sex appeal. My sexuality doesn't make me, me. Take it away, and I'm still Kevin Entzminger. I make me, and until people realize that my mind doesn't revolve around the sexualness of life, but the pureness of being a human being striving for his dreams, I'm going to stay to myself... leave the others in the dust and dirt, and let love find me the right person who'll love me for me. Those are the eloquent words of a real nigga. Those are the eloquent words of a real man... those are the eloquent words Through the Crying Eyes of Kevin Entzminger.
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Submission Name: The Words of an Eloquent Black Man
