Is Rhyme a crime? by Vastmark

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Submission Name: Is Rhyme a crime? dots

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Author:	Vastmark
ASL Info:	29/M/U.K
Elite Ratio:	6.06 - 225/169/26
Words:	190

Class/Type:	Poetry/Comedy
Total Views:	363
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1175

Description:
Before any of the more sensitive users on ES go nuts, this is not a dig at anyone or any style of poetry.
I was simply frustrated at the time, trying to write something losing the rhyme *chuckles*
It's bloody tricky.
Saying that there are a minority (I stress that word)of users I've seen around that seem to think to rhyme is not poetry in this day and age, and to do so is to disguise a lack of talent. I don't agree, and that maybe sparked some inspiration but let that be all that is said on the matter.
On the whole it's drivel but I made myself laugh so I thought I would share.

p.s I laugh very easily

V

Is Rhyme a crime? dots

-------------------------------------------

I cannot write without a rhyme!
I write the words down, I take my time.
Then I edit, until I’m sick
I just can’t seem to make it stick

And in the end, what I’ve got
I don’t really think I like a lot.
So I throw it in my book of gems
And forget it, till I’m stuck again.

The aforementioned book is now quite thick
No matter how I work at it.
I remember thinking “Poetry will be a lark”
Now, I see why some write so dark.

It seems to me, that it is to some
A poetry faux pas
But is it really criminal
To rhyme that pas with tar?

Doesn’t feel natural,
for
me to
write as
such.
Should I then
not post,
if I think
as
much.

So damn those bloody nay-sayers
I say to you good sir
Let’s rhyme our little heads off
Something, something…fur!

Seriously though. I am not one to shy away
I’ll persevere, I will not sway.
And eventually find my style of write
Then stop scrawling this dreadful shite.

Submitted on 2006-01-10 15:26:20 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  lmao
simply put...pure genius
loved it...all of it.
michelle x
| Posted on 2007-11-14 00:00:00 | by whirl | [ Reply to This ]
  And eventually find my style of write
Then stop scrawling this dreadful [censored]e.

haha that made me chuckle. I could go on and on about flow and whatever other formalities, but that seems inappropriate for something so comedic and entertaining. Instead I will commend you for making me smile and sticking it to the man with your blasphemous rhyming poetry.

kudos, keep writing
~Venia
| Posted on 2007-10-30 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]
  OMG I love that!

So damn those bloody nay-sayers
I say to you good sir
Let’s rhyme our little heads off
Something, something…fur!

I needed that laugh badly on the end of this Friday the 13th! I get so frustrated with my rhymes and I think, this crap will get so bashed if I post it and then what?!

This is defenitely the truth and the rhyme lends to the comical air of it. Bravo!
| Posted on 2007-07-13 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
  yes,i like this poem .i enjoyed reading this big time!!!
i dont usually go for a rhyme but sometimes i cant resist ..so i can relate .
check this poem i think you will like it
"some wisdom for consumption"
| Posted on 2007-01-12 00:00:00 | by flaming_text | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes! You got a giggle out of me. I have to admit, my giggle was mainly for the "Something, something…fur!" I guess I'm not used to having fur yelled at me.

Everytime I start a rhyme...wait, no that'll never work, let's restart this. When I try to write a rhyming poem eight times out of ten I completely lose sight of what I am actually trying to say. Then there are those rare occasions when I can actually finish a rhyming poem.

I can't get over the "Something, something…fur!" It really hit my giggle bone, which I believe is somewhere in the left pinky toe, but I could be wrong on that one.

Thank you for the giggle
Bon
| Posted on 2006-03-20 00:00:00 | by Krazy | [ Reply to This ]
  a good question, is rhyme a crime... i tend toward non-rhyming myself, although i sometimes employ "slant rhyme" quite by accident. some poets can pull off a rhyme without it sounding forced. others, well,
it's too obvious.

i say boo to the "rhyming police." also, the "cliché police" seem to run rampant here, too.

well done!

peace,
~Cat (in the hat)

| Posted on 2006-02-28 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
  Ha! I love this!
As one who "rhymes a lot" in my own writings.. I find this to be humorous and well put.

"Something, something…fur!" < love it!

"And eventually find my style of write
Then stop scrawling this dreadful shite.< too cute!

Well done! Thanks for posting this bit-o-humor on rhyme.
~Sandra
| Posted on 2006-01-30 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece too made me laugh. I will admit that I'm not big on rhyme. Don't get me wrong, I love poetry that rhymes. I'm just not big on it as in saying I can't write rhymes myself. I feel that they limit me, but that could be my limited imagination. I feel that there is no set form of poetry. It is all beautiful. Whether it rhymes or whether it doesn't, poetry is imagination mingled with heart and soul. More people need to realize that.

So for all the rhymers out there, even though I can't rhyme, I encourage you to keep up the good work. I know myself that it is not an easy thing to do.

Hats off to you for the glorious rhymes you write.

Brightest Blessings,
Crystal
| Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by lenotoire | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a very likable piece and to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of rhyme. On the other hand, I would never say that rhyming isn't poetry or that rhyming is easy. Poetry certainly can rhyme and it can be very difficult.

I think there a couple of unconnected skills evidenced in this poem. You obviously have the ability to rhyme, but more important, you have the ability to communicate. There are people that can communicate, people who can rhyme and people that can do both.

The down side of rhyme is that too many people feel that poetry MUST rhyme, or it must fit into a certain form, villanelle, sonnet, haiku, whatever. They start out with a rough scribble that has great emotional potential. Then, as they begin to revise the piece, they change this word for that, here for there, one for two, all for the sake of rhyme. When they're done the emotion is lost. They're left with a work of art with no soul.

Here, however, you haven't succumbed to this, you've saved your theme, with both high quality rhyming and a strong injection of humor. I too loved the "something, something, fur" line.

I once wrote a similar piece, called "I Can't Rhyme".

Steve
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by Lost Sheep | [ Reply to This ]
  Ouch! Some of this is reeeal rough. To make rhyme work well, it’s often necessary to tend to meter. L2, for instance, would work better without the “down”, because the iambic would be consistent. Similarly, in L3 the word “then” would work better if it followed the word “edit”: i EDit THEN, unTIL i’m SICK. I hate to have to admit it, but I often use a dictionary to see where the accent(s) lie for each word. Other poets prefer strict syllabication: “Actual”, for instance is given in the dictionary as having only 1 accent (ACtual). But some poets prefer to treat each syllable as alternating accents (AC tu AL). (This all assumes a two-syllable cycle, as in iambic. Other schemes use one accent in three). Either choice does not stamp the poet as inferior. I’ve written metered-rhyme, and unmetered rhyme, and free verse. I agree that “Rhyme is no Crime” You might enjoy reading my “Poetry Reading”, which deals with a similar subject.
fred
PS: Love the humor in S6.
| Posted on 2006-01-14 00:00:00 | by fredmelden | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good!

You would guess how I feel about the dickheads who say rhyming is bull[censored], I say "tell Tennyson and Keats and Wordsworth" well, you get the point.

Very cleverly done, with the change of rhyme scheme, and the different style, almost a tongue-in-cheek "there! satisfied?" go at the naysayers.

Excellent work! Well put together and funny too!

I love it

be happy

Graeme
| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
  Although everything I have to say has already been said, I still wanted to comment to let you know you had yet another fan. :)

I really enjoyed this. It actually seems like something I would have written. If I had thought of it, that is.

I agree with Danny, if I hadn't already fallen in love with this poem "Something, something...fur!" would have caused me to be! That made me grin. It was cute.

The whole poem is cute.

That's why it's now a favorite. :)

Take care,
Samantha
| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by slickviper097 | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Me likes, Me likes!!!!

I liked the poem. I liked the description. And I laughed my arse off. (I laugh easily too!)

I think that rhyming poetry is still very much an art. It's a tough one, considering there are only so many words that rhyme. And when you begin to use the multi-syllabic words, you lose some of your readers.

Although, I am finding that if I write prose, people tell me it should rhyme, and if I rhyme, they suggest prose...

Maybe I'm just a [censored]e-y writer.

I really enjoyed this,

Chell
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
  Rhyme is generally used as a rhythm marker, a structure to suspend images and thoughts from (like the shell of a house or ther frame of an automobile); it's simply there to arrange and space ideas around. Some of the greatest poets in the world used rhyme, others didn't. To argue over it is similar to watching political parties debate while the nation swirls round the bowl: idiotic. There's room for both to express themselves on the site. This was an inspired bit of lunacy that makes me wonder what Shakespeare would sound like if it were edited by Monty Python. Take care. Bill.
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  I think the rhyming in a peice is a way to keep a sort of intrest going i enjoy it if it is done right - and you keep it up as well as i can see continue righting in rhyme and see your comments and write from the heart and you will find that rhyme does not matter if you tell whats on your mind and flow with the words from your heart! your style is what is provoked in your deepest subcontious -
Thirst4serenity
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by Thirst4Serenity | [ Reply to This ]
  Ha I agree with you on this "Elitiest" people. Congrats you made me happy, I decided to try to get my comments back up and you're the first.

WEll anyways I liked the poem reminds me of ... me. IN the sense when I first started writing I had a strict formant usually sonnet ABAB or ABBA form.

But then I tried out some free form, and still held structure, then I went free poem, then to Spoken word.

But enough about me :-p

But actually you'd be surprised on the amount of Elitist talking about flow and structure over the meaning of the poem. Take for instance one of the comments on " A Poem FOr Two ANgels " said something about the emotion of the poem is all it had.

and I was like wTF THATS THE POINT!

But to each style their own, and glad you showed yours.
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by acommoncold | [ Reply to This ]
  This piece is truly delightful and very amusing as well. It certainly made me laugh too.

I guess that some people do seem to hate rhyme around here. Personally, I consider that sometimes using it tends to prevent people from expressing true feeling. It has happened to me and I've read a couple of writes with which I'd had the same feeling. Like a forced or strained rhyme. In your case you've got nothing to worry about as long as you keep your rhymes as neat as the ones you’ve got here. And I’m saying this in the nicest possible way for I happen to think you are indeed very talented.

Good luck and do not sway LOL.

Later,

Ethan.
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice job on making me smile
I am not a big fan of rhyming, mostly because I cant, but I would never say that its not poetry.
It is a certian talent that I honestly dont posses. You obviously do.

I write free verse but I love to read a good rhyme. As I said, it is takes a certain person with a certain talent to do.
I am sorry if you ever got such a comment, sometimes I really dont understand people & the power they think they posses.

Take care & great job
~jennifer
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
  Well i must say you didn't do to bad a job of ryhming in this piece lol.

As a reply to using rhymes in your poetry, i find that most of my best pieces are created using ryhme. And that;s the way i like it.
I have written quite a few that i don't find my pieces to be as satisfying without it.
So if you want to use rhyme then you carry on, because rhyming will always be a part of poetry no matter how many people dislikeit.
For everyone that doesn't use rhymes, i'd place a bet on there being two people that do.

This piece was pretty good and you put your frustrations across in a good and comical manner.
But it happens to us all it's called writers block lol.

The bit that really brought a smile to my face was
"Something, something fur"
The amount of times i've had to delete a line because it just won't fit is unreal.
Thanks for posting this piece really made me smile
Take Care
Danny
| Posted on 2006-01-10 00:00:00 | by corruptedspirit | [ Reply to This ]
  Amusing, and true. Rhyme is hard, but often worth it. The last two stanzas made me giggle out loud. (Not a good thing to do in the middle of science class, if you're interested).
^_^

~Birdie~
| Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by MaeBirdie | [ Reply to This ]

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