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    dots Submission Name: Depressiondots

    Author: HurtDeepDown
    ASL Info:    24/F/OHIO
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 165/161/42
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 600

       Just an old poem. Self-explanatory. About depression.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Sometimes when things go sadly wrong,
    we sink into ourselves,
    our minds are filled with troubled thoughts,
    it's like a kind of hell.
    We sit or walk like in a daze,
    with sadness on our face,
    no smile to share with anyone,
    we just feel so out of place.
    Spirits fall with heavy hearts,
    all interests now are gone,
    pride slow steps with ego now,
    in clouds of doom and fog.
    Nothing seems to matter then,
    all cares have taken flight,
    such emptiness is felt within,
    seeking souls within the night.

    Submitted on 2006-01-10 22:17:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      God I know I've felt like this a whole bunch of time...actually the whole end of 2005 till mid 2006 felt like this. I like this poem because it sounds like a story to me...maybe you can see it, I don't know I have a vivid imagination, but I guess what I like most about it is that it's true. My favorite lines are

    "Nothing seems to matter then, all cares have taken flight, such emptiness is felt within, seeking souls within the night."

    That is what sticks out most to me in the poem that makes it different from any other poem about depression. I like it lots and I can see why it's your featured poem.
    | Posted on 2007-12-04 00:00:00 | by Realitywarp87 | [ Reply to This ]
      i somewhat felt the sinking feeling in my heart while readint this. im sure everyone has had this feeling at lest once in their life time. the words are good and descriptive...however your commas are in too many places. tip: write the poem out as you would write a paragraph. then put the .'s ,'s and ;'s in where they should go. then rewrite the poem back in lines.
    other then that, great job
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by DanceADream | [ Reply to This ]
      ok ik it's bad for your coment % if you say this but i can seriously relate through your writing, it seems our minda are on the same wave length here your poems remind me so much of my own and i like that, i see in this one that you notice how some people retreat into there own mind; there own little word if you will. somtimes though that word can be a little scary to be in and can take the person away from themselves. great write,

    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by disturbedx1000 | [ Reply to This ]
      a very good point of veiw, i really liked the ending somehow it captured the image fully like there wasn't anymore left you could have said, the effectiveness of this poem was great for a short piece it really...dunno how to explain it, like everyone else i can't really say much more, i can't see a major problem with it, it flows well, has ryhming which doesn't seem forced and i feel that the person who gave it four out of five is wrong, its worth a five out of five.

    my pain
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]
      That is gorgeous. Most things about depression have all been starting to sound the same to me, but this one doesn't. You explained it perfectly in an original way. I love it. I'm not even sure what else I can say.

    (As yours always are) Great job

    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      THis was a very good poem a little strung but it doesnt hurt the poem. I think your a gifted writer and shouldnt let anyone tell you otherwise. By the way i saw your picture and i love your hair. stay cool,
    -Ms. understood
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by Rehian | [ Reply to This ]
      This is spot on, as Mieko said it is very hard to explain depression but you did it really well, I know from my own experience how hard it is to talk to people about how you are feeling. In a way I think I am going through it at the moment although I act like nothing is wrong on the outside, on the inside I am screaming for a way out. Anyway great write I really like it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by babytinkerbelle | [ Reply to This ]
      You expressed it so well I don't think I'll ever try writing a poem explaining depression. xD I don't even write to explain to others, it's more like I'm saying it's okay to be myself in my own writing. not the point...
    I really liked the descritpion of it obviously and thought it was good xD
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      oh wow. this is the feeling. these are the words that i hear inside my head some many times. This is beautifully written. Not too complex. Easy. Real. I like it alot! Good job!
    | Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by Eah | [ Reply to This ]

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