Knife

Author: Flamequill ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77 /97 /35 Words: 128

Class/Type: Poetry / Total Views: 1099 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 776

Description:

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Knife

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I want to die I want an end Why do I live? Why do I try? I see my life I see the strife I hate it I cry for it I see the knife it smiles at me I see my blood gushing out I smile back and take it up I scratch myself courage I lack I cry my childish tears and look away too scared to die too scared to live] Ge comes on in and smiles at me He take the knife and breaks its sin She holds me tight a sister of light I cry to her my life of fright I see the knife What do I do? I end this pain and life renew

Submitted on 2006-01-11 10:08:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

this was good a very enjoyable read easy to understand and had a good meaning ti the thought process great write sandman

| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]

That was funny @ the end - I think the flow was a bit off - I believe with the way you have it formatted with the small lines they need to be more impactful - don't worry so much about the rhyme just make each line count - so it's not so disjointed. Good & we just keep on...Love,Peace,Joy&Smiles 2 share tif

| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

I like this poem, not so much orginal and I have to agree with sweetme that the last lines don't fit the poem and ruin the flow. I like it though good work.

| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by Autum-Moon | [ Reply to This ]

i liked the peom but the last two lines just ruin the flow. THey don't really fit into the peom. jsut a thought. ~sweetme

| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by sweetme16 | [ Reply to This ]

I liked this poem up until it said you were going to eat a steak with your knife. I would fix the ryhming and maybe the words a little to, but it was still good. Great job, revise and then send this my way!

| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]

I honestly enjoyed that. & Maybe I shouldn't enjoy it because its about cutting and stuff. But I enjoyed the detail of it. But once again something I could relate too.. Even though I don't like admiting to that.. Bla... I enjoy it a lot. Just.. I just hope its not true.

| Posted on 2006-01-11 00:00:00 | by AmazingForever | [ Reply to This ]

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