_the only way_
the first time in my life I'm running.
Katrina, what a ballerina name.
perhaps it's that delicate name that kept me from leaving sooner.
but I see her eye and it won't leave me.
stares me down,
stares me into the bones of my life,
"what matters?"
my son......pictures......some annoying papers.....Baby Cakes......
(he can't go)
......my son......
her eye does not break contact with my denial.
outrageous skirts whirling layers and layers, winds of hysterical counterclockwise momentum.
she wants to unwind what's wound?
it is time the woman has her say?
"Katrina...." ha.
how trickster of her.
It's "Kali" no less, unloosed.
first time in my life I run.....
can't tell if I'm running to
or running from.
first time North, East, South, West
become primary food groups,
no,
the air I breathe.
when Kali chases, you go the other way.
what she sees burns a whole in your back.
And she has a good laugh...
"oh `people,' how safe in their places.
I'll show `em what's real - "
and she does.
a four-hour drive finds me tempted,
tested, pounding out the twelfth
and last hour going from
"FREEEEEEEEEEEEE FAAAAAAAAALLLLLIN............"
to.............. my own song.........
no roof......
crow and hawk.....
black no stars........
a wind smells of sea-trees.......
stop and go, gas and go,
stop stop stop stop....
GO.......
set free to back north louisiana roads in - no place.....
i mean NO place........
no people, no cars, no homes..........
i'm making "S's" in the road like a bad rendition of _thelma and louise_...........
cutting a line through snakes of pine........
headlights show Walking Three Deer
only a moment disturbed.............
i'm running with my metal,
my nuts and bolts V6,
running from a rage
that wants to purge it all,
drown it out,
"let's get to the bottom of this."
(... running through a dark room with a ghost at my back....)
making the next hard curve at 40? 50?
splitting my state in half,
car lights catch the occasional white
of an primitive glint
dart this and there...........
Then my deer.......my deer......
the one in my dreams.....
the exact same deer........
steps up
like a King to the edge
of the empty steaming road
torso held higher than his back legs,
chin lifted,
he's big like I dream too.
head straight ahead,
but eye at me -
we catch the whites....
he stops.
i stop.
i see........he's not the one caught in the headlights..........
we look eye to eye,
truth to truth,
dare to dare,
dust settles behind me,
can we ever really run from the Center?
it's calm.................
right now.................
maybe it's all gone.........
maybe i'm going home.
Mimi Gauthier (8/29/05)
around midnight, hours before Katrina steps into N.O.
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Submission Name: _the only way_
