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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Ruins Of Herdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 758
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 515



    Description:
       This was a poem I wrote when I had suicide thoughts. I hope you like it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Ruins Of Herdots
    -------------------------------------------


    There's blood on a razor,
    and pills on the floor.
    Your daughter no longer,
    lives anymore.

    Not like it matters,
    Or that you care.
    Even if you see her dead body,
    Bloody and bare.

    Her body is pale,
    Purple and grey,
    Covered in blood,
    That won't fade away.

    She doesn't want a funeral,
    Donít go the expense.
    Just throw her in trash,
    You know that makes sense.




    Submitted on 2006-01-12 11:23:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's really funny that you wrote this piece, cause when I used to have thoughts of suicide ,I would kinda sing a melody that went like this..lol.. I really enjoyed this piece alot!
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Suki | [ Reply to This ]
      painful truely painful. it reminds me of a few of my friends sad as that can be. but i like the way you worte it it was filled with emotion that i feel acctual showed through the poem and your structure adds to you words and it all fits nicely good job.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      This is beautifully painful...full of angst and screams silently for help. I love the amount of feeling that was put into it, even tho it was short all the words fit perfectly.
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by faln_angl | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    It may be simple but work perfectly. There is alot of emotion, and the word use is great. The rhyming works great as well.

    *Let it Flow*
    Raven
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a neat, short, lil piece. i enjoyed it. i have friends that are into scarification, branding, suspension and [censored]. and i understand why people cut them selves and exicute(sp?) them selves..this was drawn out well.

    seems like..you're mad at your mother? and you want her to find you deceased. your explaination of why is vague..actually it's not there at all..which i like because it leaves it up to me to imagine the why's, how's, and becuase's..is because's a word?? haha. thanks for sharing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Cannablisjunkie | [ Reply to This ]


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