Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: memento moridots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bentnotbroken
    ASL Info:    25+/m/middle of nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    4.6 - 351/260/38
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 838
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 519



    Description:
       Read this quote twice in the same day in two totally unrelated books and it got me to thinking. I know this needs much work, so any comments or critiques welcome. Thanks.
    J


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsmemento moridots
    -------------------------------------------


    He stalks his quarry silently,
    watching them as they cavort and laugh.
    He watches the young and the old,
    the powerful and the frail.
    He doesn't care which he takes;
    all will fall in time,
    and time is on his side.
    Some will die a violent death;
    some will waste away;
    still others will perish peacefully in sleep.
    Beneath his breath, Death whispers.
    "Memento mori. Remember you will die."




    Submitted on 2006-01-12 11:42:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was really intense. After reading the last line, a chill went down my spine because it just had so much feeling to it. Also I noticed the third word in the first sentence, is that supposed to be 'his' ?
    ~*~Brandie~*~
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by Flaming_Shadow | [ Reply to This ]
      At first I had no clue what that phrase meant so I was pleasantly surprised when you stated it in your poem. I appreciate that as I thought you would keep me hanging a while on that one. hee hee! This is definitely a good beginning to a really creepy kinda poem. Sort of like through the mind of a serial killer or something. I know, the grim reaper. That is more precise I think. Death is a scary kinda subject with me. I dont really like to think too much about it. I know that it is all part of life but it still freaks me out when I think of dying and how I will succumb to it. Peacefully in my sleep sounds like the best choice, but nobody ever knows till it happens. Ohhhh...enough talking about it. haha! You could probably add on to this poem if you chose and make it even better or leave it be. It is good just as it is too. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay...that was rather creepy! I am over here kind of like...uhhhhh...don't want to run across this person.

    The most fcked up part about it though (look I'm fixing to rant! lol) Is that there are sick people that acutally do linger out there with intentions of just completely mutating somebody. that is sick...and disturbing. We live each day not knowing really if someone else that is full of pure ignorance may be the one that actually takes our destiny away from their sick morbid mind.

    Ok...ranting over.

    Good job though. this was full of depth!

    Li Li
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Munchie_1226 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem
    To me those words
    Memento Mori
    Are extremely personal
    I take them as meaning remember a new life is awaiting you upon death do not fear the inevitable
    I loved this
    Very Nicely Written
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Thought it enteresting how you made death itself come to life as if he was a person I felt a kind of compassion in death as if he is sorry he has to take you away at any rate thats what I saw as I read this,it wasn't creepy to me but rather beauitful actually anyway thats my take on it am looking forward to reading more of your writes keep tapping the keys adnil
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting death poem. i like the creative and metaphiric insight on deaths creepyness. and haveing the quote that i dont know what means is awesome also cuz it makes me feel dumb. but if i know what it meant i am sure i would like the poem more. i mostly like this write so good job and take care.
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by snacky fish | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    87261

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    The World written by jjd
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry