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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Let Godots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 61
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 495



    Description:
       This was back when my mom and I started to really lose each other. These where basiclly feelings I had.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLet Godots
    -------------------------------------------


    Scared up arms,
    Broken dreams,
    Bloody tears,
    silent screams.

    Pale skin,
    Crimson gashes,
    Lost emotions,
    heart as ashes.

    Cold words,
    Violent blows,
    Hidden secrets,
    nobody knows.

    Dead and gone,
    Deep inside,
    All these feelings,
    she does hide.

    You'll never understand,
    You’ll never know,
    About the girl,
    you let go.




    Submitted on 2006-01-12 11:58:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow. i really relate to this one. i love it! your a great writer i especially love the part "hearts as ash" that really gets me and i like how it gives a real picture of what things have become. i love this!
    <3 Sonya.
    ps. i like the wording and how it flows its different. i like it.
    | Posted on 2007-11-29 00:00:00 | by wordofsurrender | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked the emotion in this.......simple yet powerful write with words if u know what i mean....i had the image of a girl with scars from harming herself and the pain inside like torture and trying to get her mom to still see her for the girl she is....
    Sad and moving poem...
    I liked it
    God bless
    Love Nadine
    | Posted on 2006-05-09 00:00:00 | by lostspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the way it flows. Needs editing. "Scarred up" instead of scared up. Also some of your commas I think are inappropriate in that they break up sentences or phrases. For example:
    Hidden secrets nobody knows.
    All these feelings she does hide.
    About the girl you let go.
    Your spacing of the poem is adequate to tell the reader how it should sound. The commas aren't necessary.
    Otherwise, I love it!

    ~scienceyear~
    | Posted on 2006-01-14 00:00:00 | by scienceyear | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved this poem. There was nothing wrong with it just that instead of " hidden secrets, nobody knows" you maybe should've instead wrote "hidden secrets, no one knows" to match up the silibles. I really liked this... SERIOUSLY, AWESOME JOB!
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey,

    Once again, your getting good with the simple but full of emotion works. I really hope you can work it out, or atleast you come to a agrement somewere. I haven't know you before highschool, but you and mom are close i guess were now.

    *Let it Flow*
    Raven
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]


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