Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rachel Boner-Poppdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Rue
    ASL Info:    16/F/the dark side
    Elite Ratio:    4.54 - 244/182/44
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 1240
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1113



    Description:
       I love my dearest friend Rachel... just... she worrys me with the abundance of dangerous things she tends to commit herself to. Life sucks, drugs make it somewhat livable, and at least entertaining, but I wanted Rach to know even though her step mom's evil and school is harsh, we're friends and I would hate to see something bad happen to her.
    Peace.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRachel Boner-Poppdots
    -------------------------------------------


    You know it doesn't worry me a lot
    When we drink some Jack and smoke some pot,
    Cause I'm not the kind of friend that judges
    I have my own permanent record smudges.

    And you know I think you fuckin rock
    But my emotions fall and rise like stock,
    It's not getting laid, I'm all for that
    I know the /volleyball/ keeps you from getting fat.

    It's not even the cocaine
    Cause damn is that shit is insane,
    Iíll do it once or twice a year
    For it, I don't have much fear.

    LSD, it's all good there
    But Cigs make you loose your hair,
    And it's far too easy to OD
    With painkillers or PCP.

    In five years I wanna call you
    Maybe Danielle, and Topher too,
    We can rock out with Hendrix and dream of Jim
    At least we agree about fucking him.

    So until further notice, without further ado,
    To just the pretty pink turtles, me, and you,
    Don't let the rockin stop,
    My Rachel Boner-Popp.




    Submitted on 2006-01-12 12:20:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I read the seconds line with the words smoke and drink switched, I liked the way that sounded.
    I'm sure Rachel with love this.

    <3Linda
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by WellEnough | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahhhh...yes, the rock n roll lifestyle and the friends that share them with you. Very original write and I compliment your honesty in it...thats unique in itself, hee-hee!

    Oh, I think you have an extra 'that' in the third line of the first stanza. And the second line in the third stanza to me reads weird...maybe move the 'is' before 'insane'.

    This was a nice ode and hopefully you and Rachel will be able to look back on these years in the future. Thanks for sharing!
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    87273

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry