Locked Soul by brich2929

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Submission Name: Locked Soul dots

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Author:	brich2929
ASL Info:	30/M/Delaware/USA
Elite Ratio:	3.06 - 27/18/10
Words:	134

Class/Type:	Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
Total Views:	195
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	817

Description:
Written for a girl I was friends with in the day who was into cutting and drugs.

Locked Soul dots

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Locked Soul
I want to know why you hurt yourself.
Is this a cry for help?
A cry that no one hears,
Are you hiding tears?

Is your world upside down,
and no one really cares?
And when you walk into a room
all you get are stares?

Your family thinks they know you,
but this isn't true.
Nobody to love or love you back
So know you feel blue?
Mad at the world and so depressed,
It may never end.

Look up and realize
that I am your friend.
I want to help - to see your smile
is the greatest thing to me.

The door to your soul is locked
And I have the key.

Richard Thomas Bishop

© ©1994 Richard Thomas Bishop

Submitted on 2006-01-12 12:32:00 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  this was a very nice poem and kind of a friendship poem too.u were the one who heard her cry and it was very sweet that you made this poem concerning her problem. if you haven't,i suggest you let her read it.i think it would help.there were some places where i felt u shouldnt have put question marks:
"Is your world upside down,
and no one really cares?
And when you walk into a room
all you get are stares?

maybe u could fix it up by making it:

is your world upside down?
where you feel like no-one really cares.
a world where when you walk into a room,
all you get are stares.

u dont have to revise it but im just letting u know what i think.
i was once a cutter & im slowly getting out of the habit because of the support of my friends.
anyway,i really felt the saddness & i
hope things work out.

-haunted
| Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Haunted_Nobody | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked this poem. It made me wish that someone felt this same way about me, and that they were there all of the time to love me. This is the first piece of yours I have read and I am aching to read more. One more thing, is that you in the picture or is it just a joke???
| Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
  hey, this was a pretty neat pice. i specifically enjoyed this part:

'to see your smile
is the greatest thing to me.

The door to your soul is locked
And I have the key.'

good emotion, and i could easily imagine everything you were attemping to project.

thanks for sharing adn i hope to see more.
| Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Cannablisjunkie | [ Reply to This ]

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