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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Locked Souldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: brich2929
    ASL Info:    30/M/Delaware/USA
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 27/18/10
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 195
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 817



    Description:
       Written for a girl I was friends with in the day who was into cutting and drugs.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLocked Souldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Locked Soul
    I want to know why you hurt yourself.
    Is this a cry for help?
    A cry that no one hears,
    Are you hiding tears?

    Is your world upside down,
    and no one really cares?
    And when you walk into a room
    all you get are stares?

    Your family thinks they know you,
    but this isn't true.
    Nobody to love or love you back
    So know you feel blue?
    Mad at the world and so depressed,
    It may never end.

    Look up and realize
    that I am your friend.
    I want to help - to see your smile
    is the greatest thing to me.

    The door to your soul is locked
    And I have the key.

    Richard Thomas Bishop

    © ©1994 Richard Thomas Bishop




    Submitted on 2006-01-12 12:32:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this was a very nice poem and kind of a friendship poem too.u were the one who heard her cry and it was very sweet that you made this poem concerning her problem. if you haven't,i suggest you let her read it.i think it would help.there were some places where i felt u shouldnt have put question marks:
    "Is your world upside down,
    and no one really cares?
    And when you walk into a room
    all you get are stares?

    maybe u could fix it up by making it:

    is your world upside down?
    where you feel like no-one really cares.
    a world where when you walk into a room,
    all you get are stares.

    u dont have to revise it but im just letting u know what i think.
    i was once a cutter & im slowly getting out of the habit because of the support of my friends.
    anyway,i really felt the saddness & i
    hope things work out.

    -haunted
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Haunted_Nobody | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this poem. It made me wish that someone felt this same way about me, and that they were there all of the time to love me. This is the first piece of yours I have read and I am aching to read more. One more thing, is that you in the picture or is it just a joke???
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      hey, this was a pretty neat pice. i specifically enjoyed this part:

    'to see your smile
    is the greatest thing to me.

    The door to your soul is locked
    And I have the key.'

    good emotion, and i could easily imagine everything you were attemping to project.

    thanks for sharing adn i hope to see more.
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Cannablisjunkie | [ Reply to This ]



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