Description: An update to a previously written poem, which I'll post later. All the words are the same as the first, just re-hashed. The groundwork for this one was around for years before I put it together.
Like a decoration
The puppets of the fourth dimension grow dastardly vain.
A friendship exists, painfully ubiquitous.
The anticlimactic nightmare of a showgirl
Floating in a distant society
The house music is turning into a political tide
Shimmering in the water is the pain of hell
and forlorn deeds--
the only thing embedded into a sea of glitter.
I'm done in only by the stun of the phaser
left on our skin.
Ok, so whats up with all the big words! I only understand 1-2 sylable words! Didnt you know? hehe. Just kidding. It was good and I like this second version. The last line was very powerful! Good job ; )
This is very unique & interesting - I like your description too about it being around for years before putting "IT" together - goes well with the piece I like pieces that have many layers and aren't what they appear to be - this was well done Great! Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share tif
hey i really liked this poem.it was very unique.i like the way you created mystery abut your poem especially the third line.i didnt quite understand the poem. is it about a strip club? the last two lines didnt seem to fit but maybe thats because i misinterpreted it.i lke your turn of phrase in this .good work
Submission Name: Visionary Revisited
