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    dots Submission Name: with youdots

    Author: bluecrane
    ASL Info:    19/F/WASHINGTON
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 70/83/26
    Words: 106
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 883
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 628

       you get the point

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotswith youdots

    my love for you is growing strong
    and i know that it's alright
    i will love you all day long
    and i'll hold you through the night

    i was so scared to feel this way
    being hurt before
    but you manage to take my fear away
    and i'm loving you more and more

    the dark is slowly fading
    my life is coming back
    these feeling inside you give me
    i never thought it would feel like that

    people say they see it too
    they see how you make me spark
    i know that this love is true
    you are always in my heart

    Submitted on 2006-01-12 22:55:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this piece very well. Some of these things I tried to explain to my boyfriend when we first got together. I was afraid to trust him and afraid of being hurt again. I can relate to this poem and I especially liked the lines

    I was so scared to feel this way
    being hurt before
    but you manage to take my fear away
    and i'm loving you more and more.

    I can understand the things you say in this poem, but I feel like you left me hanging at the end. It would be great if you added a bit more, but then again every poem is unique and even though it wouldn't hurrt to add a bit, it wouldn't hurt to leave it the way it is. I really like this and either way your poem goes I think it awesome. I'm adding it as one of my favorites. Hope you and writing go well for you.
    | Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by missing_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      this is a very cute peice and the evidence of how you feel is written throughout the entire peice which keeps up witht he consistency and gives the peice a sense of unity. personally i think that the subject matter is not unique but more like a belly button topic meaning everyone has one but the word usage and the way it is written makes this peice unique to you. which is a great thing, i think that this is very well written over all and the rhyme and rythm is very good over all i think that you did a great job and i hope i did not offend you with my earlier comments. the wonder of new love is always the best hold on to it as long as possible. good luck with everything...Joy
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]

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