Risk it

Author: MysterydarkPoet ASL Info:    20/f/Aust Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173 Words: 101

Class/Type: Poetry /Serious Total Views: 1059 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 669

Description:

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Risk it

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Rapture of the mind Like a soul undefined Look at the ray of light Until it blinds your eyes Yesterday never dies In the eyes of tommorow Spin the bottle Take the chance Give us room For one last dance Search for your bounderies in the dark Count the steps to tell you how far Act don't think If you can't swim, sink There's more than me and you Discover there's nothing you can't do Have faith in any path you choose Always win, never lose Take a step into the unknown Risk it all, and leave your comfort zone

Submitted on 2006-01-13 06:07:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

this was good I think it was semi-orignal it was vivid puts what the poem is saying into a lil movie in your mind but yes the rhyming was a little off I dont' know if you were trying to make them rhyme but none the less a good write and good read -Logan-

| Posted on 2006-01-14 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]

Mabey the ryming was a bit off but it was still quite good. I enjoyed this poem alot. I especially liked the last few lines. Needs a little work but good job.

| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by Bronzebird19 | [ Reply to This ]

True to what Ryuki said it is a common poem. But to me it is still good, because it is something that was written with emotion of being felt at the time. I like poems that show you need to take risk in life and try to escape. The rhyming was off a tiny bit. It started out with one thing... and then went to free verse, hell I do it sometimes and people dont notice most of the time. When you do this make sure to add free verse in the middle only, and rhyme schemes at the begining and the end. You had words that had nothing to do with the rhyme scheme thrown in between certain notions: A A B C C D E F G F H I J J K K L L M M You can see up above where the rhyme scheme was thrown off. I personaly enjoyed the poem. But for people no fans of mixed up free verse and rhyme... plus rhyme change schemes. It could be improved to be something even better. Mistakes happen in your writing... Your only human but up above is the guide to show where mistakes went in if you were trying to keep one rhyme scheme or such. -Evil Jesture

| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by Evil Jesture | [ Reply to This ]

The rhyming was a bit off (to me it is). I felt that I had read a couple of writes similar to this, so I have not much of any comments. I didn't mean that its bad... its just common.

| Posted on 2006-01-13 00:00:00 | by RyukiTZR | [ Reply to This ]

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