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aftermath


Author: shes automatic
ASL Info:    17/f/ky
Elite Ratio:    2.99 - 47 /62 /13
Words: 210
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1111
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1229



Description:


wrote this the other night when some words just flew in my head from past times. seems like they apply now too.


aftermath



...and I think it was in those 30 or 40 defeaning seconds, where I stared at you waiting for a response
that I realized I'll never be the person you want.
Perhaps I turned around and expected your head on my shoulder, as usual.
I look in your bluish pupils and they uncomfortably shift and stare in an apathetic manner.
You won't look me in the eyes,
but I was always afraid to look into yours.
My fingers fidget and pick at the excess cuticle skin hanging from them
as I stare at the floor and try to figure out who we are.
Your expression never changes and your hands stay rested firmly on your legs.
You don't look at me.
You never look at me.
Our heartbeats don't even make a thud in the silence of the room.
The only thing that moves is your hair, swept in your face, occassionally bouncing in strange quick movements.
I took hold of your hand and stared up at you like a child
but it was too late.
I read all the wrong signs and crashed right into the ditch.
You were long gone, right next to me.
I lost you.
Lost you and your fingers were still delicately intertwined in mine.




Submitted on 2006-01-14 13:55:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  nice kinda makes me think of something that has happened in the past they doesn't really want to come out and happen again this was very good and vivid makes me think that it was actully happening (hmmmm maybe it did) I don't knw but it was good I liked it I love you ambuh

-Logan-
| Posted on 2006-01-14 00:00:00 | by in_my_suffering | [ Reply to This ]
  
I <3 Amber's writing!

"I realized I'll never be the person you want." Doesn't it hurt to come to that realization with someone you love and care about?

It's a pain like no other and you captured that pain in a very descriptive way with this piece.

I think that "blueish" is "bluish" by the way.

The irony of "You won't look me in the eyes, but I was always afraid to look into yours." really got my attention. Isn't that weird how one moment, one thing, or a pile of little things can change a person in the aftermath of those things.

Great title for this too.

I also like how you hold his hand but lose him...right there next to him. That's tragic, yet beautiful writing.

Great job Amber. I Love It.

<3

Bethany Ann
| Posted on 2006-01-14 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]


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