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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: O' Lightning Bugdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mgnola
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 25/25/14
    Words: 323
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 192
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2004



    Description:
       I do appreciate what Earth shows of her colors her, the low flying blue heron, along the creek, the lush tropical Haitian feeling of the woods,
    light'ning bugs, which I rediscovered when I came back. I moved from New Orleans (after college) to study at a league acting school and then work as a repertory actress In San Francisco. After a few years, I began to believe I had made them up as a child, but sitting on the
    porch of the cottage, they appeared, one by one, and I felt like a primitive would have felt on the first sight of these peeking bugs, little fires in the air. No wonder our culture if fascinated by fairies. That's what they look like. In fact, if anyone can stand it, I am most inspired to write because of the creek/river. I have an ode to lightning bugs and somewhat of a prayer to
    the river.

    Having been a stage actress for so much of my life, I particularly have loved not only performing Shakespeare, but just the guy himself....(if he is in fact only one ; ) - So this too is a bit of an "Ode to Will," from one of my most beloved roles - that of "Titania" in _Midsummer Nights' Dream."

    Miriam
    Mimi Gauthier LeBien


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsO' Lightning Bugdots
    -------------------------------------------


    _LIGHTNING BUG_

    O lightning bug - little glow worm dew -
    O blinking beetle of the night!
    I see you peek-a-boo under watery moon
    On honeysuckled breeze that bends the bamboo -

    While crickets and cicada sing and Sweet
    Olive drifts on the Luna moth's wing.
    You peek again? O fire fly - Now here -
    Now there - you mock my eyes.

    O Tinkerbell dust, Titania's sprite
    Who plucks the dusty wings of butterflies,
    O Mustardseed - O winking light -
    You guide swift Puck through misty night.

    What fairy circle your magic makes
    O're glistening orb - this dance ad lib -
    You come unhid till dawn does break.

    O aery spirit - where do you go
    When Aurora begins to dim your show?
    Tuck you into acorn shell? Or fold
    You up in buttercups' well?

    And I mere mortal heavy in heart
    Made mute with wonder and hushed astound
    Would sit on nettles, pine and woody ground
    And remember a time I thought I could
    Bequeath this human garb to earth
    And leave this shell of seedless girth
    To dance with you - O spirits of mirth -
    In meadow, marsh or misty grove,
    Where near rivers bank the wild thyme blows,

    And canopied I'd live - no time no space
    And remember not me nor name nor face.

    But while in this mortal house I lie
    I'll bend my eye towards darkening sky
    And know when night's swift dragons fly
    To cut the shadows thick clouds belie
    'Ere night's sweet chariot draws away
    Nocturnal spirits out to play.

    Yes, then I alone will take my place
    On cypress root near creek bed's plank -
    Till glistening you enter one by one -
    Your fairy smiles behind the sun.


    mgl 1999
    Mimi Gauthier




    Submitted on 2006-01-15 00:05:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I realized the Mustardseed thing as I said it. It was a brain fart. As I said, I was really out of it last night. I taught that play several times, but I just haven't been sleeping, so i'm not really on this planet. Maybe I'll get mor ein touch with the bard when I got to Stratford next month, Amy
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      Miriam, I see this dated 1999, so I am guessing that you've worked with it and it stands pretty much in it's final edited state. There are zigs and zags in the rhythm and the rhyme. There are a few rhymes that could be stronger. Right off, in S1, peek-a-boo and bamboo is one.
    Overall the effect, the imagery are great. I like your eye for nature. I've read it in a couple of your poems now and a reply you wrote to one of mine. Nice work. C.D. teaches English, so she's a good one to listen to when it comes to form, punctuation etc. Take care,
    Dave
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry that didn't come across as intended. I understand that you were inspired by A Midsummer Night's Dream, and I think the style is effective in this piece. I just find that a lot of people write in that style even when it's not appopriate, so I guess I was putting my experience in reading other work on the site into reading yours. I should have read some of your other work before saying something like that, but I'm insanely tired, and I'm not thinking with my usual ludicity.

    OK, for the words, "mustardseed" is usually two words, and "fire fly" is usually one. That's all I meant; it's nothing major (Compound words are always in a state of flux anyway; they often lose a hyphen or become one word instead of two). I think all of your hyphens should be dashes like "O lightning bug—little glow worm dew—." Really I was picking nits. I hope you don't take it personally and feel free to disregard it if you'd like. I hope you're well, Amy
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      excellent!(applause!) Personally I enjoyed the style you chose to write this piece in, different, which I consider a very good thing. beautiful pictures painted with great word choices here. I won't even bother to comment on the punctuation, as I see C.D. already has, truthfully I really didn't find it all that bothersome, the one and only word that through me a bit was "unhid", just wasn't sure it was even a word, guess it could be, anyway I liked it...

    Milo
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
      Aw but Miriam, shakespeare would of been proud of you,I see nothing wrong with writing like one of the masters had you of brought it up to madern lingo it would not of had the same feel to it no read as beautiful. I to remember see fly fies as a kid, though rarely do i see one now, yet when I manage to spot on I get elated over it, just knowing they haven't gone the way of so many other wonderful things in this world,my favorite line is is Oaery spirit- where do you go, and indeed i wonder ha, thanks for the lovely read and the short trip back in time keep tapping those keys
    adnil
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      You know, I used to see red fireflies when I was a kid, and some people say they don't exist, but my brother remembers them too. They're so dense here in the summer that it looks like you're living in one of those glitter globes.

    Your imagery is really good. Every image in this is prefect. My only qualm is that I think you could be a bit more distinctive. Perhaps you could make the language more contemorary or experiment with structure. You write in such a classic style, and that is fine, but I think you could do more to make it your own. There's nothing wrong with the way you write, but it could have been written two hundred years ago. I can't really say if that is a good or bad thing. So, in short, I find this excellent but anachronistic.

    I also think you do some unsual things with punctuation such as the underscores in your title. You also need to make the hyphens into dashes (In most word processors, you type two hyphens and press enter, but if your word processor doesn't to that, two hyphens typed together are considered equivalent). Hyphens are generally used in some compound words or names. You also compound some words that aren't ordinarily written together and separate some words that are. I think it might be on purpose, so I'm just making that observation.

    Good work,
    Amy
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]



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