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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Strongerdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Psmurf_Bass
    ASL Info:    18/M/KY
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 23/33/28
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1073
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 768



    Description:
       this piece is pretty much about how me and my dad fight sometimes and he yells at me LIKE all the time and how i try to use the negitive things he says to me to become stronger for the people that might have the same problem or in fact any problems in there life..but othere then thats its not entirely finshed still got to wrok on my bridge part so comment if you want guys


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStrongerdots
    -------------------------------------------


    is this who i am
    crumbling beneathe your hands
    as you lay me to rest
    take the very best of me
    empty smiles fill your face
    as you drive me from this place

    you make me stronger
    for the ones that follow
    in this world
    so dark and hollow
    scatter yourself into shadows
    die and set me free

    you think your a man
    for yelling at me again
    pushed againest the wall
    waiting for me to fall away
    and you cant see
    the ones thats hurting is me


    you make me stronger
    for the ones that follow
    in this world
    so dark and hollow
    scatter yourself into shadows
    die and set me free





    Submitted on 2006-01-15 04:48:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...
    i like how you described what you have to put up with and the way he makes oyu feel in the first and third part and what the situation caused you, the outcome that it makes you stronger and that you wanna be left alone, in the refrain. the 'parts' show somewhat his perspective and the refrain your inside and i like how you managed to do that.
    :) you're awesome in writing you should do it way more :)
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by torn_within | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this very nice to read. It flowed well and as lyrics, I can relate them to In Flames, if you've ever heard of them, would go well with hard rock kind of sound nonetheless.

    I particularly liked how you used much more sinister imagery than what was actually happening, because if anything, it emphasises the emotion you are getting across here, and to write something so creative out of something as you have, is a testament to your skills as a lyricist. If only every teen was like this, the world would be a very different place. Overall, a great write with a stunning chorus might I add.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by JimweiZERO | [ Reply to This ]


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