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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Choosedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: HaldirLives
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 234/149/60
    Words: 21
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 690
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 135



    Description:
       I have a class at my church from 6 to 7 every school morning, and I wake up at 4:30 so I can be ready to leave on time. My mom wakes up at 5:30 or 5:40. She always complains because she gets tired, but I never do. That's the inspiration for this piece.


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    dotsChoosedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Which is more industrious;
    The child who wakes earlier more willingly,
    Or the parent willing to wake early for the child?




    Submitted on 2006-01-15 07:36:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      OK, you've gotten a first stanza down. Where to from here? I'd encourage you to choose a working title, even something as simple as "Choose". You can always edit the title later, just as you can edit any part of the work.
    As for the answer to your question, well, it's not possible to know. Like the story in the bible about the woman who donated a few cents to the collection. It was said that all the larger gifts came from the donor's excess, but this woman gave from what she needed for her own survival. So without knowing your mother's particulars, I can't say who is more industrious. Does your mother go to bed as early as you? While you are at school, does she work out at a job? Is it manual labor? Or does she stay home and cook, clean and do laundry? Is she over forty? She could be making the larger sacrifice. It's too hard to say.
    Just be glad you are young and can jump up at Oh-My-God-thirty and go to school wide eyed and bushy tailed!
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Sandburg | [ Reply to This ]
      This quite a nice little piece, however it's not really poetic, it's really just a question. Admittedly you have written the question in a very detailed and descriptive way and it makes the reader think. Also, you have shown that you actually appricate your mothers efforts.
    Nice little piec
    A Loving Hatred
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by ALovingHatred | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. Short and too the point. No beating around the bushes on this one. You have a good question posed. It's nice to read something that makes you think instead of just laying out everything for the reader. I don't think that I've read anything on this site that was so short, yet to the point. I would have to say that the parent would be more industrious. They get up early every day, even though they are tired, just for the child. They are putting the child before their own wants.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Ravenwood | [ Reply to This ]


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