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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Tuck Me In Reaperdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Secrets Unheard
    ASL Info:    18/m/nj
    Elite Ratio:    4.25 - 84/101/48
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1229
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 788



    Description:
       If you know about Sylvia Plath, you'll get this. If not, consider it a cry for an already dead mother.

    This is my tribute to her children,and to her.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTuck Me In Reaperdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Mommy, mommy, where did you go?!
    The cookies are stale, the milk went sour!
    Our doors locked, Mommy! Let us go!
    Mommy, mommy, where did you go?!
    We're blinded with fright, shivering with anxiety.
    Break the door down mommy, we need you!
    You always used to write about how daddy made you feel miserable,
    and how wretched grandpa made you feel.
    But please, Mommy, don't go!
    Save us , Mommy, where did you go?!
    The cookies are stale, the milk went sour!
    When the grim reaper lead us downstairs.
    You were face first in the oven, the gas all the way up.
    We looked up at the faceless man, and whispered,
    "Who will tuck us in at night?"
    His response, "I will."




    Submitted on 2006-01-15 10:43:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow...wow...this was just...wow, i've never read anything that made me feel so sad. it was overwhelming and almost tear dropping. i...couldn't believe how good this is. definitely one of my favs from the recent poems i've read, this one really gets me. i like the fearful emotion the children felt when calling for the mother to not go. it was as if i could feel the fear as well. it gave me major goosebumps...gotta shake it off...this was great. im impressed at how good this piece was at showing the fear and anxiety of losing their mother...its all great.
    this was excellent, good job.

    ~Zach~
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by insphered soul | [ Reply to This ]
      reading your description of the poem kinda enticed me to read on as i am always fascinated with sylvia plath's works and life. for me, it was less of the goosebumps and more of tis overwhelming poignance (for her children definitely.) almost too unbearable to read becos her children are ur main focus here, the ones left behind..

    i can almost picture myself as her children, but never fully.

    thanks for the write!

    take care,

    Rachel
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by wilted_ | [ Reply to This ]
      That was a piece of work that brought tears to my eyes. I liked how you placed everything in that poem. The response to her suicide was brilliantly potrayed.

    That was not only touchy but had this darkness to the way you wrote it. That is what made it a stronger.
    "The cookies are stale, the milk went sour!"
    That line was amazing and especially when it was repeated in the middle of the poem, it gave the whole image a even more vibrance.

    Sylvia Plath was amazing and the incident as to how she committed suicide was creepy. That is reflected so nicely in your poem. The best part was the view point that you selecter, i.e that of the children.


    awesome man
    peace,


    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by forestspirit | [ Reply to This ]
      Ah, yeah, definitely reminiscent of Sylvia Plath. (Have you ever read the Bell Jar?) I agree with Clarkie, it gave me goose bumps as well, as it was so incredibly sad and made me want to cry for the children. Good job. ...bb...

    XoXo
    ~Tayla~
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Phoenix2004 | [ Reply to This ]
      That's horribly messed up. Excellllllent.
    The Reaper is such a sweetie. That mom, I wouldn't want her for anybody's mom.
    I liked this poem, and the title really caught my eye.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Red_reaper | [ Reply to This ]
      Umm... wow. That is marveolus.
    There's so much emotion and it's pretty darn creepy. The end is my favorite:

    You were face first in the oven, the gas all the way up.
    We looked up at the faceless man, and whispered,
    "Who will tuck us in at night?"
    His response, "I will."

    That's so... scary. It's like when youre alone at night watching a movie about a serial killer. lol Thats the feeling I got.
    I love it
    Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      This gave me goose bumps, which I am sure was the aim. The effect is there, and idea is sound, but the way of saying it could use some work. I'm not sure what this needs, but it's missing something. Hopefully fellow commenters will have a clearer idea than I do.

    At any rate, a worthy effort, one deserving of thought and rereading.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by Clarkie | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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