[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: My Dour Onedots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 849
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499

       Ok, I know it's not up to "my usual standards," but I couldn't come up with anything better. Maybe later on in the day, I'll write something better.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Dour Onedots

    You have such a beautiful frown,
    my dour one.
    Your kisses tickle
    and taste like coffee and cigarettes.
    You intoxicate me
    like the forbidden pleasure
    of your "cancer sticks"
    and the bitter richness
    of the brew you swill like water.
    Your addictions fuel your thinness,
    a body more beautiful
    in its reduction to essentials,
    as pure and as beautiful
    as "I love you".

    Submitted on 2004-04-28 03:52:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I got just the opposite of Eve. That the "bad habits" are a part of him and that they help create who he essentially is and who you love.
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Now you sound contradictary. Here you peg pure as an ideal. This piece is calloused along the edges, and there was a time when it wouldnt have been...gotta go
    | Posted on 2004-04-30 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. To see past a person's faults and find the love and beauty even in a stale kiss..lol.

    I think it has a very modern poetic feel. Quite different from your usual and also quite good. You should not be dissatisfied with this piece. It is very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Bond written by saartha
    Linger written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    AI written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Every..... written by jackz
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]