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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Dour Onedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 867
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499



    Description:
       Ok, I know it's not up to "my usual standards," but I couldn't come up with anything better. Maybe later on in the day, I'll write something better.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Dour Onedots
    -------------------------------------------


    You have such a beautiful frown,
    my dour one.
    Your kisses tickle
    and taste like coffee and cigarettes.
    You intoxicate me
    like the forbidden pleasure
    of your "cancer sticks"
    and the bitter richness
    of the brew you swill like water.
    Your addictions fuel your thinness,
    a body more beautiful
    in its reduction to essentials,
    as pure and as beautiful
    as "I love you".






    Submitted on 2004-04-28 03:52:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I got just the opposite of Eve. That the "bad habits" are a part of him and that they help create who he essentially is and who you love.
    jan
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      Now you sound contradictary. Here you peg pure as an ideal. This piece is calloused along the edges, and there was a time when it wouldnt have been...gotta go
    | Posted on 2004-04-30 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. To see past a person's faults and find the love and beauty even in a stale kiss..lol.

    I think it has a very modern poetic feel. Quite different from your usual and also quite good. You should not be dissatisfied with this piece. It is very well done.
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]


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