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Stuck


Author: jessie thomas
ASL Info:    24/F/Alabama
Elite Ratio:    4.13 - 299 /338 /79
Words: 119
Class/Type: Poetry /Longing
Total Views: 1304
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 803



Description:


I wrote this about a month ago. When I was first going out with Jr. and still thinking about kevin. I don't feel this way now about either of them. I am just friends with both...but I liked the poem, so tell me what you think...


Stuck



Slowly slipping
And falling off the edge
Wondering if you'll care enough,
To try and save me

Taking off my ring
And looking into my eyes
The look on your face says
That you don't want me

My eyes fill with tears
I close them,
Finally letting go

But I don't fall

Now safe again
My eyes still closed
I waite for you
To take me in your arms

I feel a touch
And I open my eyes
But it's not you that saved me

Your standing in the distance
Watching me
I'm in his arms
I'm not happy here

I'm stuck
And all I can think about
Is you





Submitted on 2006-01-15 18:49:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  This is ridiculously pretty. I can see this picture in my head, you standing in the ones embrace, gazing longingly at the one in the distance, while the person who's arms are around you looks at your face. Or your mom's face. Or maybe all h*ll breaks loose, and you kick him and his mom in the face, then have a moment, and run away to the one you want, but then have to kick him in the face because he's being stupid. And then I'll throw a beer bottle in your general diraction, hitting him, and you'll break out in a rap about what a lame-*ss loser he really is, and then you'll run away and become a lesbian, and your dad will cry...
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
  that was really good..i agree it could use more flow...also it feels incomplete...it kinda leaves u hanging...but other then that it's good keep em' comin :D
| Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by kapri49 | [ Reply to This ]


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