Description: I wrote this about a month ago. When I was first going out with Jr. and still thinking about kevin. I don't feel this way now about either of them. I am just friends with both...but I liked the poem, so tell me what you think...
Stuck -------------------------------------------
Slowly slipping
And falling off the edge
Wondering if you'll care enough,
To try and save me
Taking off my ring
And looking into my eyes
The look on your face says
That you don't want me
My eyes fill with tears
I close them,
Finally letting go
But I don't fall
Now safe again
My eyes still closed
I waite for you
To take me in your arms
I feel a touch
And I open my eyes
But it's not you that saved me
Your standing in the distance
Watching me
I'm in his arms
I'm not happy here
This is ridiculously pretty. I can see this picture in my head, you standing in the ones embrace, gazing longingly at the one in the distance, while the person who's arms are around you looks at your face. Or your mom's face. Or maybe all h*ll breaks loose, and you kick him and his mom in the face, then have a moment, and run away to the one you want, but then have to kick him in the face because he's being stupid. And then I'll throw a beer bottle in your general diraction, hitting him, and you'll break out in a rap about what a lame-*ss loser he really is, and then you'll run away and become a lesbian, and your dad will cry...
that was really good..i agree it could use more flow...also it feels incomplete...it kinda leaves u hanging...but other then that it's good keep em' comin :D
Submission Name: Stuck
