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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Picture of Passiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 939
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 624



    Description:
       I promise that I'll at least try not to write about painting for a bit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Picture of Passiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    He was a picture of passion.
    He hated anything neutral.
    He'd have painted the world with warmth
    in red, gold and pink,
    and he'd banish, black, white, and gray,
    And brown would have only been for eyes
    because he always liked yours,
    and he hated blue
    for he hated sadness.
    That's why he couldn't take it
    when you walked away
    You took your love,
    and he took his life,
    and no you can't have the picture
    because he painted it for me,
    and like his love
    you'd cast it away.





    Submitted on 2004-04-28 05:54:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I'm thinking that the last 'not' is meant to be 'no', but that aside, this is an amazing piece, I love the way you've rendered the emotion and the sadness you feel, and the pain he went through into colour and its expression, I love the way it suddenly impacts and shatters the reader when you take it to the next level, a personal message, accusation and affirmation. This is gorgeous, in all senses of the word.
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by Transcendancing | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautiful, it seems liek you would be the only person to realize the beauty in his painting, and no one else's eyes could see it but your own, truly beautiful ,another outstanding write!
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by gigglygirl | [ Reply to This ]
      On a literary basis, I LOVE YOU. In real life, well now thats getting weird. This is beautiful, but my own opinion is different about blue, to me people have it wrong, blue symbolizes happiness to me, (my eyes are blue) it brings to mind summer days with blue skys, deep blue-black nights speckled with stars, ocean depths...yeah, now I'm getting inspired...thanks for letting in the Giant Rubber Duck of inspiration, Cuddle...now I have to write...and I'm spose to be working...oh well. Lovely excellent write, m'lady. ~Sicobe R. Crow
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ]
      'And brown would have only been for eyes
    Because he always liked yours'
    great line. I enjoyed your poem very much. it's so beautiful and sweet. great one.
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      And brown would have only been for eyes
    Because he always liked yours
    And he hated blue
    For he hated sadness

    These lines do much to establish a connection between this melancholy soul and his attachment to his lover.

    That's why he couldn't take it
    When you walked away
    You took your love
    And he took his life

    Whoa.... deep. You took your love-he took his life. Strong words are those. Realism that smacks the reader right in the face with their blunt accusation.

    And no you can't have the picture
    Because he painted it for me
    And like his love
    You'd cast it away

    And the nerve of this person to actually want the picture to remember him by after coldly throwing away the real thing.

    Overall, I found this to leave me with many different feelings. Pity, sorrow, anger and righteousness for the person standing up to this cold ex-lover of the suicidal man. Excellent!!
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      Thank god I've gotten over love, for the most part. I guess I'm lucky, i'm incapable of falling in love with anything that either has two legs or isn't related to me by blood or brotherhood. i used to be, but I focked that one up and now i'm done with it. You, on the other hand, are not a bad writer, but you are OCD.
    | Posted on 2004-04-30 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      Perfect description of the eternal isocoles and why not add in the highly strung and the disavowed.
    Greek tragedy in an ormolu frame.
    The last four lines are acid nails.
    K
    | Posted on 2004-04-28 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]


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