[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Whispersdots

    Author: sug90
    ASL Info:    14/F/U.S.A.
    Elite Ratio:    3.21 - 69/93/34
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 916
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606

       I don't think this is my best, I just needed to write something, before I like keeled over and died.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Behind those tattered eyes
    Dark circles, the cover girl hides
    Love and life,
    The whispers she despised
    did you hear the news tonight?
    So and so died?
    Shot with a gun,
    Counting the dark days gone by

    The gossip spreads
    The snake always lies
    Telling tales
    Revealing deepened skies
    Wishing they could find someone
    A better guise

    Hon, people cannot hide
    Haven't you noticed?
    There are more than secrets tonight,
    More angles to cover
    When you play all sides

    Submitted on 2006-01-15 20:36:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this was a really good read!
    it flowed really well, and it was like a mini story!
    i liked the lines
    "There is more than secrets tonight"- very powerful stuff!
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by bambi144 | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhythms of this poem was particularily good - especially how the flow felt like it came full circle at the end.

    I was a bit confused at the line "Show with a gun" - a reference to television, or to one showing up someplace with a gun?
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by FrankBlissett | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]