[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Love Lost...dots

    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1067
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 461

       Words and actions
    from false lovers
    can cut so deep...
    reopening old wounds,
    revealing scar tissue so thick...
    that the wound just painlessly splits...
    it cannot bleed...
    or heal...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Lost...dots

    Song is silenced in my heart,
    our love is bittersweet.
    Our music lacks a melody
    like drums without their beat.

    No dance or smile can pass the time,
    it's hopeless to ignite
    the flame of passion once beheld;
    another lonesome night.

    The seeds you've planted deep within
    the garden of my mind,
    reap thorns and ashes, broken wings,
    a heart you'll never find.

    Submitted on 2006-01-15 20:59:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This read simply, yet it had so much depth and emotion behind it. I liked how well you managed such a difficult task. I must commend that you managed rhymes incredibly well. Since I can't spot any flaws, I will put this in my favourites. Well done.

    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      i've read pretty much all of your poems.. and there isn't one i don't like...
    this is deep, emotional, and i was wrapped up in it within the first 2 lines.
    it's short and keeps you interested. if you made it any longer it would be a little tedious to read. but you did a superb job with it, and although i don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said, i just thought i'd drop you a comment, and show some support!!!! love your work!

    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by simi | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Kimmy, I have been looking forward to your next post, so was please like crazy when I saw this.

    I like the idea of there being no sound, with the loss of love.


    ‘Like sounds of flowers blooming’ flowers blooming would ordinarily be a nice thing but you have made it, empty, when it shouldn’t be. Just like love can be…

    Then you go on to say, how seeds planted in your mind ‘reap thorns and ashes’, like an un-kept garden/un-kept love.

    Really nice poem, I like the idea of the lack of sound and the nature element, it would be nice if it was longer, but then I suppose that would spoil it. Too much of a good thing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by PaulHudson | [ Reply to This ]
      Inbetween.Happy and depressed.HMM,definately a poem with two faces and double personality if you can read 3-D.I liked it.Inspirationaly in a wierd way.Well keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      This feels like the millisecond between "I love you" and "It's over" (or the aftermath of the two colliding). Very sad and beautifully expressed sensation of a love long gone but for a few golden memories (interesting that you'd strip sound from the equation; it almost appears to suggest suspended animation in a colorless world). This is a well written piece. Take care. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relativity written by poetotoe
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cover written by saartha
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Carry written by saartha
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The World written by jjd




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]