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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Love Lost...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: KimmyMim
    Elite Ratio:    4.4 - 223/303/117
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1051
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 461



    Description:
       Words and actions
    from false lovers
    can cut so deep...
    reopening old wounds,
    revealing scar tissue so thick...
    that the wound just painlessly splits...
    it cannot bleed...
    or heal...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove Lost...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Song is silenced in my heart,
    our love is bittersweet.
    Our music lacks a melody
    like drums without their beat.

    No dance or smile can pass the time,
    it's hopeless to ignite
    the flame of passion once beheld;
    another lonesome night.

    The seeds you've planted deep within
    the garden of my mind,
    reap thorns and ashes, broken wings,
    a heart you'll never find.




    Submitted on 2006-01-15 20:59:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      This read simply, yet it had so much depth and emotion behind it. I liked how well you managed such a difficult task. I must commend that you managed rhymes incredibly well. Since I can't spot any flaws, I will put this in my favourites. Well done.


    Abbas
    | Posted on 2006-07-14 00:00:00 | by abuzzbuzz92 | [ Reply to This ]
      i've read pretty much all of your poems.. and there isn't one i don't like...
    this is deep, emotional, and i was wrapped up in it within the first 2 lines.
    it's short and keeps you interested. if you made it any longer it would be a little tedious to read. but you did a superb job with it, and although i don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said, i just thought i'd drop you a comment, and show some support!!!! love your work!

    ~Simona
    | Posted on 2006-01-29 00:00:00 | by simi | [ Reply to This ]
      Hi Kimmy, I have been looking forward to your next post, so was please like crazy when I saw this.

    I like the idea of there being no sound, with the loss of love.

    Also:

    ‘Like sounds of flowers blooming’ flowers blooming would ordinarily be a nice thing but you have made it, empty, when it shouldn’t be. Just like love can be…

    Then you go on to say, how seeds planted in your mind ‘reap thorns and ashes’, like an un-kept garden/un-kept love.

    Really nice poem, I like the idea of the lack of sound and the nature element, it would be nice if it was longer, but then I suppose that would spoil it. Too much of a good thing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by PaulHudson | [ Reply to This ]
      Inbetween.Happy and depressed.HMM,definately a poem with two faces and double personality if you can read 3-D.I liked it.Inspirationaly in a wierd way.Well keep it up
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
      This feels like the millisecond between "I love you" and "It's over" (or the aftermath of the two colliding). Very sad and beautifully expressed sensation of a love long gone but for a few golden memories (interesting that you'd strip sound from the equation; it almost appears to suggest suspended animation in a colorless world). This is a well written piece. Take care. Bill.
    | Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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