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Life OF A Prostiute


Author: Poeticprincess
ASL Info:    18/f/Germany
Elite Ratio:    3.3 - 333 /325 /104
Words: 108
Class/Type: Poetry /Dark
Total Views: 953
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 727



Description:


to me this is outside the box ( i invented the box.) but seriously i wrote this to be deep. I mean when i wrote it i was all into it and when i finished it seemed deep. But anyways tell me what you think. what you liked or what you didn't like. just comment damnit.

~~Danni~~


Life OF A Prostiute



She grabs the money
and the man looks at her
the man with small...
beady, eyes
lips thin, yellow teeth
he smiles and she fakes one
She smooths out her winkled clothes
and she leaves instantly
it's her job to make
tainted money for someone else
the next man is more
handsome in appearance
but he is more abusive
she removes her clothes
and lets him violate her temple
then she has to give him
the pleasure he seeks
him beathing her as she
gives him pleasure
she takes his money
her body weak
and she leaves
she lives the horrible
the life of a prositute




Submitted on 2006-01-15 21:04:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  man? i sware as i walked down the streets of reno..i was thinking the same thing? lol well...you could go a little more in depth...i sumtime try to stray away from writing about people i dont know much about...but this poem seems a liitle like the outside looking in, know what i mean? put urself into her shoes...what u would feel...put her into your life..well..ur life as a prostitue...all and all the idea was good!
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by princess-india | [ Reply to This ]
  I think this should be a fan fiction story, I'm not sure if anyone else said that, but oh well, lol. I think you covered the basics of the life of a prostitute, i'm sure that you realize it could even me a member of your family, try thinking of it like that, and see where it takes you. I'm glad to see you writing again. Your awesome you elmo!
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
  this was really good it shows what some women will do to survive for a buck or too you could carry this on forever as being a whore goes back alot of generations of women selling their temple for a dollar
well done no bad intent
sandman
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
  I think this could be a fantastic subject for a poem. However, yours seems almost a chronical rather than poetry. Perhaps if you used some metaphors to convey more feeling and imagery. Like "she lets him violate her temple", "as the money changers from bible prophecy. OR..."She takes his money, her body weak", as a slave. Something along those lines. Just my two cents worth, perhaps it may spur your creativity.

your friend
ben
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by BenCollier | [ Reply to This ]
  its alright i mean u could have done better actully maybe written more bout how she feels n stuff rather than just the situations u could write about wats her point of view towrds sex and love...anyways not bad keep it up oh plz check out my stuff called women and beautiful little stranger and aryans gumptions...
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by anooplokur | [ Reply to This ]
  i like the comment the first person gave. he actually is right. i like the write but it does seem like u were merely scratching the surface although in a very well worded way. u may have created the box. but u didn't make it deep enough
| Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by unknown soldier | [ Reply to This ]
  In description this is a poor accounting of the life of a prostitue. It is obvisouly wriiten by somone who doesn't know much about such situations. This only covers the stereotype. As writters it is our job to capture a realness to each character we write and prove that stereotypes are just stereotypes and real life is real life What if she enjoys being a prostitue? What if she does it for a good reason? What if shes more than just a prostritute...a mother...a sister...a daughter...a friend?

but never mind me... i am... out of my mind
| Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by out_of_my_mind | [ Reply to This ]
  well yeah .. this is kind of sad but not full of sadness .. i dont get it .. but .. well you shouls improve it .. it needs improvement .. well take care and peace!
Victor
| Posted on 2006-03-10 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]


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