Infatuatation by Writer Chic

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Submission Name: Infatuatation dots

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Author:	Writer Chic
ASL Info:	15/F/at my house
Elite Ratio:	4.83 - 100/101/26
Words:	300

Class/Type:	Poetry/Love
Total Views:	368
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1019

Description:
I wrote this poem, when I had just started at a new school, and as you know, everyone calls you "the new girl", so anyways, I saw this guy, and I really liked him, but I new I could never have him, so I wrote this for him, but to my surprise, me and him now get along, and I think hi might ask me out!!, i dunno....

Infatuatation dots

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A burning desire,

for one you shall never have.

An unfathomable feeling,

for his alluring character.

A labyrinthine of mixed feelings,

implacable virulence to one's self.

A perilous longing,

for his semblance and mind.

An abysmal wantingness,

for his charming self.

A deep hole of confusion,

unable to be filled.

Longing for his touch

Wishing for his word.

Hoping for a change in fate,

despite knowing what lies ahead.

Trying to fufill an unquichable thirst,

trying to fill, a bottomless pit...

Submitted on 2006-01-16 02:19:17 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I like your piece alot. your writing seems very mature unlike other people in our generation. I like the way you expressed yourself, you detached youself from the whole "oh I want him" and "oh look at him" which is getting really old and went for a more sophisticated approach I like it and te imagery is soo good. It goes way beyond the whole physical thing to a more longing to have that person at your side.
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by ladydeathstrike | [ Reply to This ]
  YOu had reall ynice imagery and the strong emotions of this poem were especially felt by this reader! One thing to be careful about it to make sure that some of your phrases do not become cliché, like "burning desire" a phrase that is commonly used. You might have said "A desire that burns with crimson flames" or something to that effect.

It was really good though. Keep writing!
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Linksquest | [ Reply to This ]
  I felt extremley excited and scared when I read this, and I'm pretty sure that's not what you were shooting for. Though, I guess I shouldn't of read a scary novel before I read it, it could be the residue of the book. But either way, I thought you protrayed your feelings quite well, how you feel about him. I've felt that way myself a few times before, for a few people, and I lost them all in one night, hah. Anyway, good write.
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Secrets Unheard | [ Reply to This ]
  very strong feelings coming out for someone you didnt know but this is generally when the imagination of a writer is at its most fertile - we wonder and wonder what he or she would be like, what would they say, who would they be, how comfortable could you be with them.

the write itself is strong in sentiment, passionate in delivery. the line which sums it up for me is 'A labyrinthe of mixed feelings', tending to stimulate the senses even deeper.

how cool are you??? 'A perilous longing for his semblance and mind'! Awesome. very mature feelings you are relating here - hints at the prospect of more passion in your poetry.
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by bugsy | [ Reply to This ]

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