Description: "Step Into My World" was written on December 28, 2005. It's message is that people do not know me or they don't understand where I'm coming from, so I want people that feel confused about me to step into my persoanl world, and they will see who I am. It's not really lyrical or the best, but I wrote it. So, feel free to say what's on your mind about his poem. I wrote it kind of quick.
Step Into My World -------------------------------------------
Step into my world,
And you will see who I am.
Step into my world,
And learn a personal history.
Step into my world,
And be prepared to know me.
Step into my world,
And I'll show you what I mean.
It's generic, repetitive, and not really all that stunning. Which is a VERY good indicator.
"What does it indicate?", you ask?
It indicates that you are (or were when you wrote this) perfectly on track.
You are right in the position in life that most people your age are, and you express that feeling you get in that position in much the same way, which is: ANY way.
And that's good.
So is this poem, it shows an ability to: vent, express, and to tell people, the world, what you really want to. Even if you don't know what it is exactly, or how to say it.
I see where you're coming from but I really think that this poem sucks. The whole thing seems to tightly together, with you using most of the same words in two or so lines. I'd suggest that you work on this a bit more
i see what you mean on how you want them to see where your coming from. but here you only told us the same thing thats in your description just as a poem, but i think if you realy want people to see where you are coming from by this piece you need to make it longer and more detailed about what your saying. don't just say the same thing in a diffrent way.
I like this. At least what I got out of it. It's kind of short, though. If it was just a bit longer, with a few more words, then I could relate to it even more, get more out of it, you know? But it's good. I get what you're trying to say.
i like the part ill show you what i mean at the end it leaves the person reading the poem in mystery i believe a poem or a lyric should always leave a little bit of mystery and i hope to read from u again
I think that there is straightaway an anomaly between that which is being professed, ie, an invitation to somehow see the world from your perspective and the structure of the writing itself. I think that you are in a sense concealing yourself within the refrain of the poem. There is at once an invitation and a denial, perhaps a preperation, or a manifesto of intent.
alrighty then, the main reason i really like this poem is because of the 'in my world' thing. no one, sometimes not even ourselves, know what's going on in our own minds and sometimes it's just so much fun to explore it and share it with others. love the poem, again, kind of short, but that makes it all the more worth it.
Submission Name: Step Into My World
