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    dots Submission Name: our generationdots

    Author: sweet sorenity
    ASL Info:    24/f/ Ga
    Elite Ratio:    3.11 - 211/221/58
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 918
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 591


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    dotsour generationdots

    voilence in the air
    yet no one seems to care
    it all seems so unfair
    the world leaders just sit in their comfy chairs
    while people are in war out there
    our generation continues to stair
    like its rare
    like hearing a preast swaer

    but this sight is all to familiar
    it seems like peace is oh so far
    such a long way away
    we pray for harmony every day
    but they just held a trial
    and it wont be here for a while
    so i continue to wish and hope
    for our fellow countries to begin to cope

    Submitted on 2006-01-16 12:29:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Amen...Amen...Amen! So true are your words Sorenity. While the country is at war with other countries, we sit back in the house and stare out of our own windows and see a internal War taking place. The war to save our youth from extinction within there minds. Once the mind is extinct than the hope that each youth have or could give another youth in the future will cease to exist. I am not going to elaborate on mispelled words because Meotoko has taken care of that. The poem is great. Keep writing.
    | Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by B-Gentle | [ Reply to This ]
      You should put something in here about love. SOmething that describes how it is affecting people who DON'T go away to war.
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by I_m not Broken | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, overall the poem was good. I liked how each stanza chose one word to rhyme. Many people can relate with this world issue. However, I'm not sure if this was purposeful on your part, but I saw several incorrectly spelled words. For example, violance=voilence, their=there, sware=swear, familare=familiar, heald=held, trile=trial, and I think stair was supposed to be stare. Overall, I liked it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Meotoko | [ Reply to This ]

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