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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the love of a chritsian teendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: morriscool4
    ASL Info:    18/m/Pa
    Elite Ratio:    2.56 - 46/45/22
    Words: 162
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 311
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 938



    Description:
       im a christan guy with a girl who im not shure what she believes in, and this is my hearts plea.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe love of a chritsian teendots
    -------------------------------------------


    I’m afraid of our futures,
    so far apart,
    i want you to go with me,
    but I’m not sure where to start,
    I'm called to save the ones,
    so that they wont die,
    this is not just some idea,
    some myth above the sky,
    i cry every night,
    thinking that you could die with the rest
    and we'd be eternally separatedand
    never again have happiness
    I’m not the best example,
    of who I claim to be,
    but knowing that if i don’t straighten up
    your face id never see,
    please this is out of my love for you,
    with out you I don’t know what id do,
    but when we can be taken at any day
    I don’t want you to have to stay,
    so i guess what I’m trying to say is,
    if your left behind,
    its end of rhyme,
    and we will no longer be,
    so follow me,and you will see,
    that Jesus is the way to be.




    Submitted on 2006-01-16 21:03:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Okay, I'm going to comment on the theme of the poem, rather than the poem itself.

    First, I agree with alcoholcaust about sitting down and talking to this girl. But, you need to just ask her what she believes in, if anything, and ask her, from what it kind of sounds like in your poem, to stop saying your religion is just a myth.

    Second, don't just drop her because she doesn't say exactly what you want her to say. I'm pretty sure she's not going to get down on her knees and start rejoicing god, unless shes mocking you.

    Third, don't force what you believe down her throat, that'll just make her hate your religion and think badly of it.

    Last, you're young, chill out. Granted, I'm only two years older, but still, just relax. Yes there is the possibility that you can die any day, but you can't go around thinking that you will. You'll kill yourself with worry especially with what your write is about. If this girl really means this much to you, just relax, give her time, and if she comes to your religion, thats cool, if not, oh well, your still young.


    Hope that helped a little,
    And no, I'm not christian or catholic or anything,

    Lia
    | Posted on 2006-11-30 00:00:00 | by Glassy Eyed | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh my gosh! I really credit people that can talk about the lord like this. This is a really great poem! I'm sorry that you don't know what the girl believes in, so my best advice is that you sit down and talk to her, and if you don't like her answer or she doesn't say anything you just need to drop her. I can't wait to read your other work. Keep it up!
    alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]



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