This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Miss you

Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 259
Class/Type: Poetry /Sorry
Total Views: 1222
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1755


Miss you

I can feel it
Seeping through my veins
Coming back again
What's left of my heart
It won't stop breaking
I can hear it on the roof
It's raining outside
Falling as hard as my tears flow
It's been 9 years
since you went away
But i still see you in my dreams
In my house
You walk past my bedroom door
Take me back to the summer of '97
History repeats itself
You walk out the back door
It slams behind you
Music faintly in the distance
You ly in the grass
Wearing nothing at all
In the pouring rain
You sing loudly to the song playing inside
You were always crazy like that
I watch from the window
I'm wearing the dress i wore that day
I smile to myself-
Then a crash
a Smash
Yelling and screaming
I look out the window
It's not raining anymore
It's dark
Your not there anymore.
I run to the door
And look down the hall
Your grabbing your bag
And heading down the stairs
I can hear you outside now,
You rev your engine
And speed off into the night
You'll be back soon
Won't you?
Hours fly by,
I watch myself
Pace the corridors,
The walls start to whisper
Wind blows throught the trees outside
I'm trying your mobile,
It's just ringing out
Maybe this is good-bye...
The house still lingers of you
And all i wanted to say was sorry
The ghosts dissapear
And all thats left is an empty bed
An empty heart
An empty head.

Submitted on 2006-01-16 21:24:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  wow this is really deep
i think it would've been easier if you broke the poems up in stanzas though. i've done the same thing many times.
i like it. it says a lot about how you feel. its very strong on the emotions.

nice job.
| Posted on 2006-03-12 00:00:00 | by hayl | [ Reply to This ]
  nice write and filled with lots of emotions
i dont think the length of any story or poem makes it a good or a bad write
well done
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
  Briliant. I really felt how you did or maybe still even do. If this really happened I am really sorry because this memory sounds very repeating yet so painful to have to go back to. I really liked this poem even though it doesn't ryhme. Great job!
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
  i loved the line seeping threw my veins that really cool i never woulda thought of it its very orginal after that part it got kinda like personal like the summer of 97' thingy kinda took away from it a little..but i guess that was the point of these peice..nice job

| Posted on 2006-03-09 00:00:00 | by goomaster03 | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?