TORN IN THE MIDDEL by koka

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Submission Name: TORN IN THE MIDDEL dots

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Author:	koka
ASL Info:	24 female ksa
Elite Ratio:	2.46 - 3/4/1
Words:	80

Class/Type:	Misc/Misc
Total Views:	166
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	446

Description:
i am looking for a proffisional point of view toward my writting if am good bad or average its in one way or another to improve my writting skill and to share my thought thanx

TORN IN THE MIDDEL dots

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growing in the cyrcle of sarrow and pain, covering the envoues look of the hunted eyes, wondering what is the lead of the minds qurrling with the shadow of the good man...trying to prove the signficans of being a live , walking like a dead corp, standing beside the wall of memories reading the lips....copying the moves of the outsiders, relaying on the belive of what been siad and never done, torn in the middel.... pesise of the unwanted one!

Submitted on 2006-01-17 10:28:21 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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||| Comments |||
  nice poem spell check wouldn't hurt though. please dont take it as an insult. anyway keep up the good work. the poem was kinda sad but hey i uess ur hurt
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by dominican | [ Reply to This ]
  Whoa! Sorry but without some serious grammar and spelling updates i'm afraid i can't hardly read half the words you've entered! May i suggest you retype this piece into Microsoft Word or any other kind of office based editor and give it a spell check then edit the post and re-submit?
I can't comment on the quality of a poem if i can't understand half the words that are in it!
Keep Writing and try to improve your spelling

D
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by TroubledSoul | [ Reply to This ]
  I have to agree with Brigit,also note spelling not that I dont have to look at it,sometimes people may not beable to correct it and understand it when they read it.Good though.
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by nosferotu_gurl | [ Reply to This ]
  I find myself saying this more and more.. your poem has good thoughts and good ideas but needs more organization and you need to do a grammar check before you post. It makes it easier for everyone to read.
| Posted on 2006-01-17 00:00:00 | by Brigit | [ Reply to This ]

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