The Killing of Me -------------------------------------------
Etching deeper
Carving in my heart.
YOUR words
Burning in my mind
And to this I am brought down to
A walkway
A doormat
Something you used to be a friend to
You now walk upon
I write this now
Instead of showing the world how I feel
t would be easy you know
A cutter has their way
You used to be like me
You used to lean on me.
I held you up high
So you could see
Just how beautiful you could be.
Now you walk on me
Go ahead
I'm used to it
All the years of others before you.
I thought I could trust you.
But I was wrong.
I can only hope
One day you'll realize
I am not a doormat
I like the begining a lot. I'm not totally sure what its about, or am I just being dense? I mean, I get the overall message, but its a bit confusing, because it seems to skip around a lot. Over all, though, good job. x caroline
Instead of showing the world how I feel By a safety pin. That is in my mouth?
These two lines didn't seem to make sense, perhaps you put the full stop in the wrong place? Other than that i think this piece is rather vague and you could do with a little elaboration because as it stands i don't think it has enough substance.
The poem was overall, good I like the way you had to keep my attention but not making it full sentences I love when poems are like that. I m not sure if you understand what I mean. But it was a good piece
Submission Name: The Killing of Me
