Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Death is Hers *revised*dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Indigo Kid
    ASL Info:    33/f/everywhere
    Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 428/438/115
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1174
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 572



    Description:
       This is about a woman who is manipulating a man with her sexual prowess. He wants her badly, and she knows exactly what she is doing...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDeath is Hers *revised*dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The wind blew, like a child playing with
    a wind instrument.

    Cold and beautiful was that day, crunchy
    and crystalized.

    She felt the earth shake while they were on the beach
    and watched

    As the earth from the other side of the bay
    crumbled like a cookie into the milk of the ocean, turbulant with emotion

    Her eyes gleamed at him as she touched his
    wet moistness with her intentional lips

    And as she saw the Tsunami wave rushing towards them, she smiledů




    Submitted on 2006-01-17 22:57:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Great images in this.

    that day, crunchy
    and crystalized.

    I love the opening line. It gives me a sense of disharmony and yet playfulness. There is uneasiness from those kinds of untrained sounds.

    Nice job.

    Chrystine
    | Posted on 2006-01-28 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I know that situation all to well, HA! Why oh why do us as guys fall into those moments where its life on the beach and never see the tsunami coming? Oar well, we are dumb mammals sometimes, HA!

    This had some great imagery to it kid. Nice stuff.
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    87908

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry