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Feelings


Author: Trifecta
ASL Info:    14.male.Somewhere
Elite Ratio:    5.58 - 32 /34 /28
Words: 194
Class/Type: Lyrics /Love
Total Views: 1174
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1217



Description:


Eeeh, this one is...not that great. But I'd like to see if anybody can think of ways to improve it, because that's what I'm looking for.


Feelings



So here we are
Broken and rebuilt so many times
Loosing count of how many

And who said I wanted to explain it
Who said I wanted I needed to show
Why is it that nobody can ever just know
Why is it that I can never properly explain
Feelings

I've shared things with you
Things nobody else has ever seen
You've done the same with me
Why can't we ever stay in one place
Does this really mean anything
Or are we just pretending it does?

And who said I wanted to explain it
Who said I wanted I needed to show
Why is it that nobody can ever just know
Why is it that I can never properly explain
Feelings

Do we suffer for nothing
Or do we suffer for something?
Does this have purpose?
Or is it meaningless?
It's impossible to tell with the two of us

And who said I wanted to explain it
Who said I wanted I needed to show
Why is it that nobody can ever just know
Why is it that I can never properly explain
Feelings

Feelings
Feelings
Feelings




Submitted on 2006-01-18 15:53:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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5: Wow!




Comments


  I read this quick, just like any other poem. I think it's good. No improvement. Just keep on doing what u doing brother. IT's very nice. It would be really dramatic if you performed it, especially the ending. I love the ending. Just repeating those words. Anyway, I loved your poem, and do I have you on my favorites already? Your name is familiar(username). Well, glad to read this poem and cant wait to see something new. Take care.
| Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Heat | [ Reply to This ]


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6. What distracted from the piece?
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8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



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