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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Liesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Autum-Moon
    ASL Info:    15/Female/drowing
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 284/165/29
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1104
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 356



    Description:
       This was a poem I wrote last night. At home a have a small box full of jewlary and such and I hide my razors and what not under them and this is where the poem came from. I wrote about it mainly to my mother who doesn't understand and never takes the time to understand me.


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    dotsLiesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Box of diamonds,
    Sparkly and beautiful,
    Under lays,
    A thousand lies,
    That she hides from everyone.
    Bloody razors,
    Sharp painful pins,
    Show the pain,
    She hides with in.
    For every cut,
    Is a blissful sin,
    Forever falling,
    Deep with in,
    Her lost and broken lie.




    Submitted on 2006-01-18 16:30:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yep strong thoughts here! definately. Lies, lies are bad, and keeping them locked up inside can prove to be potentially disatorous! ELOSION! Self harm, people think its helps, its doesn't trust me I know, the out come, the scars, stay to constantly remind you of the low state we got ourselves into, and make you wonder how you got that bad in the first place...Overall a unique, personal yet slightly disturbing piece. I like it, it holds you...and the length is just right too. Good job. Smile! Cheers.

    Mstr Rz
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by master raz | [ Reply to This ]
      Simple yet powerful. I am not into the whole cutting and what thing. Even though this was the short, your emotions were amazing. It actually took away the idea of it being short. You didn't directly state the true meaning of your piece which I don't really see a lot. i am not so into the idea but you wrote this well.
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      very good...i loved the emotion even if it was sad..the line that i liked the most was :For every cut
    Is a blissful sin...I hope things work out in the end for you...it was a good poem...later
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Hip-Hop Honey | [ Reply to This ]
      This is such a great poem! I could completly relate with how your mom can't understand even if your not trying to hide it anymore. This is such a great poem, and I am going to add this to my favorites, along with another one of your poems. I am completly blown away with all of the emotion, and power of how you were feeling. Great write, and I am stoked that you're back on and submitting more poetry.
    Alyssa
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by alcoholcaust | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you described it, it's a rather simple but unique way of expression. The words are really ripping into one's attention. Well misunderstanding occurs often and because of one finding hard to solve this they rather run away than to face it... Just another ridge in life, pace over it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Razorain | [ Reply to This ]
      This takes a lot of courage to open yourself up - literally - I'm not a cutter but I've had some coping habits and know how you go back and forth & round & round & wonder why & why not & why me.
    You have nothing to be ashamed of and I know it must be difficult but find your shining light inside & keep watch over that little flame.
    Hang in there girl!
    Love,Peace,Joy&Smilez 2 share
    tif
    | Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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