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A Father that Wasn't Mine


Author: Suven7
ASL Info:    20 female Fla
Elite Ratio:    7.08 - 478 /260 /47
Words: 173
Class/Type: Poetry /Friendship
Total Views: 895
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1025



Description:


If all I can do to honor a friend is to share a memory that I've found great in him, then in both our power let me.
Dave Goodall lives!



A Father that Wasn't Mine



I’ve spent quite some time looking for those
Set of profound words to say, that when found
Could never even begin to justify your character
I can only wish that I had thanked you more
Often, gotten out of my way to tell you how much
I have enjoyed your company and laughter

A big man with a bigger heart
Working day and night to benefit others
In our lives you play an even bigger part
That far surpasses the passing of our fathers
In case you’re wondering,
Your stories have never bored me
And your advice were never flat and lame
In many cases I have to agree, and admit
That I have often felt the same

To us children, you are more than the Nike man
With the white poodle, the great white shirts
And the white matching van
You are our beloved Dave
Whose visits we always look forward to

‘Cause the Big Friendly Giant has got nothing on you




Submitted on 2006-01-18 22:09:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Ughhh, what can I say? This piece is genius. Why haven't I read this before? and why didn't we let him read this?? Suven, you need to print this out and put it on frame for Dave.
I love it.
At first I thought you were talking about someone else, but then it hit me when you wrote,
"To us children, you are more than the Nike man
With the white poodle, the great white shirts
And the white matching van
You are our beloved Dave
Whose visits we always look forward to

‘Cause the Big Friendly Giant has got nothing on you"

That line is hecka awesome...ahaha. Nike man and the white van.
I totally get the poodle and the white shirts.
Suven7, you're a genius!!!

--Fearless
| Posted on 2007-07-05 00:00:00 | by Fearless | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked this
This is a beautiful write where you expressed just how much Dave meant to you and your family
Im sure Dave is looking down on you right now and smiling seeing this beautiful write
God Bless
Ron

Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
Thank You
Ron
| Posted on 2006-03-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
  That is pretty sweet. I am betting the person you are refering to (if you are refering to anyone) is very touched and appreciates it greatly. I dunno what bignfineq is smoking, but this is hardly a 'crying poem'. Or maybe my heart is just dead... Who knows... Now, end of compliments! To the help we go!
Yes, you had some awesome rhyming in there. No, it was not everywhere, but it wasn't needed too much in this poem. You could still have used about 3 more rhyming pairs, though. Or maybe there were more rhymes, but they didn't rhyme.
Lastly, word choice. Some of it, most of the second stanza, is over the top. Other parts, about 1 part of the second stanza, was... Par. In a poem like this, the word 'lame' might be better off something else. Lame is like... Not... Complementary to the appreciativeness of this poem.
All in all, a very good poem.
| Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Sephiroth | [ Reply to This ]
  This was a beautiful dedication to a 'father' figure and mentor who appears to have affected your life (and other lives) more than he could have imagined. The world is full of indifferent instructors that recite endless litanies of useless facts to young men and women, but it has so few that take a moment to mold a life and shape a destiny. This was a very heartfelt piece that I'm sure would make its subject proud. Nicely done. Take care. Bill.
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  What a beautiful piece. A dedication to someone special. It brought tears to my eyes. I have nothing negative to say about your write. I'm sorry you lost someone so dear to you A good heartfelt write. Take care, wanda
| Posted on 2006-01-18 00:00:00 | by bigfineq | [ Reply to This ]
  this is really beautiful
i guess u really like ur dad or step dad
well we can hardly find ppl these days writing poems bout parents or kins its all bout love and relationships its a pleasant change to read this
thank u keep it up
and check out my stuff
ciao
| Posted on 2006-04-04 00:00:00 | by anooplokur | [ Reply to This ]


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