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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: reflectiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: my pain
    ASL Info:    16/F/aust
    Elite Ratio:    5.55 - 191/123/39
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 881
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 638



    Description:
       okie dokie, i accidently submitted this piece under the wrong title, i hope u enjoy it


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsreflectiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lifeless....shadowed,
    I'm nothing more then,
    The painting on the wall,
    A reflection of something bound to fall.

    Twisted in a promise i made,
    Locked and condemned to abandon,
    All but hate,
    I'm left screaming at my one true fate.

    Smiling at the river of death,
    The words you said are all but lost,
    Invited into a world created from lies,
    The life i once had reaches out and cries.

    A glimpse of what could be,
    A memory of what once was.
    An image that i dream to be,
    A picture i will always see.




    Submitted on 2006-01-19 02:28:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is bloody great! I luv the strong, bluntness of it all. so well written and an honest peice at that. my fave lines in this one are the 1st stanza. It most certainly grabs ur, or rather my attention fast. Also enjoyed the quickness of it all.

    nice
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by childs | [ Reply to This ]
      those last two lines of the first stanza really caught my eye, i kept reading in hopes that i might find some more art referances...i think maybe you could have kept that idea of the speaker being a painting more prominent throughout the poem, just because i like the idea of telling a story or portraying a message from that point of view. but thats just my personal opinion 'cause i'm into kinda into art, so it may not work for you.

    but youv've actually got me thinking of maybe writing something from a piece of artworks point of view now, so thank you for the inspiration. :-)

    peace.
    meredith.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by art_is_hard | [ Reply to This ]
      this is very interesting wording you have here. I mean the picture you paint seems so irratic at first but after you think about it you see what your saying. I think your saying that you've somehow lost sight of who you think you are. It's good, I can relate, I've writtin many poems like this in my earlier years. (when I say erlier I mean about a year or two ago).

    Good Write
    Ghost Child
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by Ghost Child | [ Reply to This ]


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