The single greatest travesty in my life is not any failure or missed opportunities, but my almost sadistic need to constantly look rearward at those failures and missed opportunities. This is endemic to American society today, characterized by the therapy and tell-all entertainment that pervades our culture. My mother's silent acceptance of my father's actions, or his verbal, mental, and physical abuse, is no more to blame for the state of my current life than last season's gloomy weather has to do with my mood today.
The events of my past do not shape my present happiness; my view of present circumstances does. If I had gotten that big promotion, or married that girl, or won that lottery, I would still be the miserable fuck that I am today. The only difference is that rather than complain of my wasted life, loneliness, and lack of money, I would grip about my shitty job, nagging wife, and taxes.
The catch-22 is, knowing this does not fix it. To change takes an act of will; a devotion to looking for the positives in people, things, places, and situations. It requires steadfast acceptance of what you have, and, at times, forced happiness with that.
Happiness takes work. The only people for whom happiness doesn't take work are small children, the mentally challenged, and those for whom these tasks have become second nature.
Today, I practice; and I try to teach my children to hold onto these principles. I don't know that it will work for them, perhaps misery is a decidedly human trait, but I will happily find out. |
Submission Name: Tragedy in Life
