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The unallowed

Author: Star
ASL Info:    15 F WI
Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 125 /127 /42
Words: 178
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1020
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1158


Umm yea well this all happened when my boyfriend and i were on a break but i still felt guilty. Its pretty much just thoughts so give me your input

The unallowed

The word traveled through
my mind as him and I kissed.
Thoughts of you covered my vision.
The knowledge of what I was
doing was there, yet I cared not,
because if it weren't for you, I would
never have done this.

flashed into my mind.
Thats not the person
I care to be, yet I
couldnt help it.
Hurt rippled through
my body as I recalled
our last conversation...
Traveling hands pull me
from these thoughts.
I look up to him and smile
yet how could I with these
thoughts running within my mind?
He was there and there had
still been a feeling left from
a time before when it had
been just me and him,
an unfinished talks we had
wished to complete......

Kissing and touching was
as far as we went though.
Thank god.
I dont think I
could've lived with those
thoughts torturing me.
As I sit here I know loving
you may not be enough
Do I tell or keep it to myself?

Submitted on 2006-01-19 20:42:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  whoa... that was some deep emotions in those words. Keep it coming! despite the unhappy mood of the poem, seeing this good of poetry makes me feel happy.
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by L0RIN | [ Reply to This ]

Good write. The emotion was there. I'm not that good on advice though, srry. I like the way it flowed.

*Let it Flow*
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
  I did enjoy this. I liked the optimistic yeah this is what happend but I realize it could have been so much worse. It's nice.
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by sandaledfeet | [ Reply to This ]
  i really loved this. i loved how u did the betrayal and revenge thing. awesome job. i am sorry you had to go through something like that though.

| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by lashelle | [ Reply to This ]
  yes, i could've totally related to this poem acouple months back. being in situations like that can suck. but you learn from it, or sometimes something good can come from it.
| Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by shotxgunxsinner | [ Reply to This ]
  Good job..I liked it. I liked how u let it sort of trail off and then ended with a question. its dramatic and emotional...great job
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by mysweetsuicide | [ Reply to This ]
  Lovely.Good point.Upon the highest hopes, there are always regrets and dreams.I liked how you showed the unknown love feelings caught in a circle.

D` Alin
| Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by DAlin | [ Reply to This ]

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