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    dots Submission Name: The unalloweddots

    Author: Star
    ASL Info:    15 F WI
    Elite Ratio:    2.69 - 125/127/42
    Words: 178
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 852
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1158

       Umm yea well this all happened when my boyfriend and i were on a break but i still felt guilty. Its pretty much just thoughts so give me your input

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe unalloweddots

    The word traveled through
    my mind as him and I kissed.
    Thoughts of you covered my vision.
    The knowledge of what I was
    doing was there, yet I cared not,
    because if it weren't for you, I would
    never have done this.

    flashed into my mind.
    Thats not the person
    I care to be, yet I
    couldnt help it.
    Hurt rippled through
    my body as I recalled
    our last conversation...
    Traveling hands pull me
    from these thoughts.
    I look up to him and smile
    yet how could I with these
    thoughts running within my mind?
    He was there and there had
    still been a feeling left from
    a time before when it had
    been just me and him,
    an unfinished talks we had
    wished to complete......

    Kissing and touching was
    as far as we went though.
    Thank god.
    I dont think I
    could've lived with those
    thoughts torturing me.
    As I sit here I know loving
    you may not be enough
    Do I tell or keep it to myself?

    Submitted on 2006-01-19 20:42:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      whoa... that was some deep emotions in those words. Keep it coming! despite the unhappy mood of the poem, seeing this good of poetry makes me feel happy.
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by L0RIN | [ Reply to This ]

    Good write. The emotion was there. I'm not that good on advice though, srry. I like the way it flowed.

    *Let it Flow*
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by Silent_Tears | [ Reply to This ]
      I did enjoy this. I liked the optimistic feeling...like yeah this is what happend but I realize it could have been so much worse. It's nice.
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by sandaledfeet | [ Reply to This ]
      i really loved this. i loved how u did the betrayal and revenge thing. awesome job. i am sorry you had to go through something like that though.

    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by lashelle | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, i could've totally related to this poem acouple months back. being in situations like that can suck. but you learn from it, or sometimes something good can come from it.
    | Posted on 2006-01-20 00:00:00 | by shotxgunxsinner | [ Reply to This ]
      Good job..I liked it. I liked how u let it sort of trail off and then ended with a question. its dramatic and emotional...great job
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by mysweetsuicide | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely.Good point.Upon the highest hopes, there are always regrets and dreams.I liked how you showed the unknown love feelings caught in a circle.

    D` Alin
    | Posted on 2006-01-19 00:00:00 | by DAlin | [ Reply to This ]

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