Description: Hard it might be to comprehend but please try ::hard:: to understand. Please give your words to this writing...
Blue Mirror -------------------------------------------
Memories that I had seen
Settles in fiery rims
Burning away the icy realm
Turning smooth ice overwhelmed
With flames that rages
Left away images
That once stayed with me
That filled me with glee
Yes I was really indeed blind
Rest I in deception of mine
As mean loneliness came
Thus insanity reigned
When fierce fire burns
Then ashes returns
Along with a fertile wisdom
A scar less lesson in was termed
Wither below the willow
Bitter was the mute bellow
Rather melt away young fellow
Better leave me the hole hollow
Led way for the images real
That way I can finally feel
Though as reluctant as I am
No way to me they can be claimed
Snowing again was my realm
Hoping I could create them...
I am finding my way about this place, and happened on this by chance. I have read the comments here and would like to make a suggestion too. I like the idea of posed by the previous critic 'poetotoe'. My suggestion is this:
Memories that I had seen Settled in fiery rims Burning away the icy realm Turning smooth ice overwhelmed With flames that rage To sweep away images That once stayed with me That filled me with glee.
hi, reall y a very good poem, may i suggest sweeps, not left, left is odd sounding to me. it would be swept if change rages to rage. tom " Memories that I had seen Settles in fiery rims Burning away the icy realm Turning smooth ice overwhelmed With flames that rages Left (Sweeps) away images That once stayed with me That filled me with glee"
Unique ryhming structure, I really like the way you kept on emphasising how you felt, well, I hope to hear more of you around, Im not sure if I rad anything from you before,but these was rather enjoyable.
Submission Name: Blue Mirror
