Description: No title for this one, in fact, no real point to it... I dunno, I liked about two lines in it... so I posted it... the rest of the whole write is a vehicle for those two lines. This is a recurring theme in my writing... 80% crap meant solely to convey the 20% that I like. :)
Yeah I do that too and sometimes ppl catch it.. The start of my poems and the rest doest seem to flow the same. But you kept the flow, the voice, the feel consistant. And I've read many poems by many great poets and some of my favorites are the short and sweet ones. I think what's missing here is the connection. Someone lied and u r sad? The wine, whine is good too, but what connects them?
I like this peom because it has nice elements written in with a nice play of words, though i think it might be too short and cut off suddenly.... But for character, since the title is 'shrug' the cut off does add to it because to me a shrug is a loss of care...
hmm. wondering which were the two lines...I really like the play with lies and lies and wine and whine. this is sad but not hopeless. almost feels like a case of the blahs, a general feeling of stagnation. nothing of value to offer, but just to say this is pretty tight
I liked your poem, reflected lots of truth in few words. your rhyme was discrete enough to be unobstrusive yet helped the poem flow along nicely. I really thought the first to lines were powerful and a good way to begin the poem. Rosh
Submission Name: *shrug*
