Description: I wrote this at like, 2am on one of my off nights when I worked midnights. With two kids, I rarely get much time to just relax, reflect, and enjoy a bit of silence. I think it is what my soul needs, and I will have to take more time for that.
As a result, I'm happier with this than I have been with anything else I've written in a long time.
As a side note, there needs to be a "Type" below for "relief". There's a million negative emotions, but few positive ones... something to ponder, eh?
2am -------------------------------------------
in this brief moment of aloneness
without lonliness
months of bitter neglect
are cleansed from the soul
by sparrows of serenity
landing briefly, then launching themselves away
little more than a memory
the recalled sensation of feeling
of a feeling
belief renewed and hope restored
as a mote of relief is found
in the bowels of solitary night
There are so many wonderful images that convey the meaning clearly and perfectly.. Feeling of a feelings and the image of the sparrow, and especially the bowels of a solitary night. I have no kids, and for the most part my time is my own, but I appreciate this poem and could definatly relte since 2am is the perfect time for reflections.
I could feel weight lifting as I read it. very nice. I enjoy those times myself although they're few and far between. this is very thoughtful and well-written. sometimes the best writings come in the middle of the night. keep reflecting. there might be more in there!
yeah. I can see why you are happy with it. there is a wonderful blend of sounds, assonance and sporatic rhyme that feels so natural. I feel the relief...this weight lifted and I can relate. I love my alone time. I'm probably not making a lot of sense, but I'll get better. great to read your stuff again. really good stuff jer
I can so understand the 2 kids and not having the time. By the time I have the time to be by myself I'm far too tired to sit with my thoughts. I really appreciated this write and hope that at some point I'm going to have my own 2 am! It was very peaceful reading this and I found myself taking easier breaths at the end of this piece. It was very nice and I'm glad that you got a moment to just sit and be. I absolutely loved the way you said "alone without lonliness" that would be heaven for me. Great job!
actually it is probably not what you mean... but it reminds me of those peaceful bitter-sweet moments when you realize that the pain you feel is actually subsiding and although you still hurt you can see beyond the pain... spurts of belief that you can overcome the issue... spurts of hope coupled with the constant despair you have felt for months... this probably makes absolutely no sense to you!!!!..... but I truly appreciate your piece in a thoroughly different context ........it was a good write.
ok, now, as my kids are screaming in the background right now as I'm typing this, I know exactly how you feel lol. i stay up late a lot of times, often regretting it in the morning, just so i can sit here and do nothing, or something without interuption...aloneness without lonliness...you have no idea how perfectly you have described almost every parents heaven lol.
It feels to me like a (very) condensed version of Coleridge's prose-poem "Frost At Midnight". If you can find a version it'd be worth a read - I think you and he (seperated by 200+ years) caught a glimmer of the same muse.
not bad... i see what you mean by mixed emotions, even in this peaceful poem i find a hint of darkness or aloneness. i really like lines 4-7 idk why but it just puts such a clear picture in my head, well thx for the read i realy enjoyed it,
It's pretty good, I did enjoy reading it. I liked the line about sparrows fo serinity. It reminded me of something I wrote about a month ago, because that one was really about stress and how I was about to freak. The biggest things I noticed that could be improved were capitalization and punctuation. There was only one comma in the entire piece, and commas stuff make poetry easier to read... It also didn't quite feel as original as I would have liked... Keep writing Nik
I could feel your peace at the moment of this poems composition descend upon me as I read. It is refreshing to read something that stirs no negitive emotions nor requires a great deal of deep thought but simply takes you to a place far from where you are while reading. The only thing that I did not really like about this piece is your use of the word "bowels" this is because to me it conveys someplace dark and fearful rather the a beautiful place of solitude. thats just me though. Other then that it was a great write. Have a great day Rosh
I enjoyed this a lot. Meditation really is something we need. Not the sit with your legs crossed meditation we all assume but just being alone to think, to ponder. It does help, so much. For me, it helped me see so much more when I just sat & thought about everything was going on around me. I could think more clearly when I re-entered the world. Here you can see that, you find things that you thought were lost. You re-open some things you thought were closed off. That feeling of rediscovery is really well done.
Night is also something that I really like about this piece. How many people really just sit & look at the stars? Have you actually tried to find Orion or the spoons? It is truly amamzing. The stars have stories all their own. Night has a beauty all its own.
Well, I have rambled enough here but as you can see this poem really sparked a lot of things in my own mind. I love how you used few words yet relayed a much stronger meaning. Take care ~jennifer
Submission Name: 2am
