crop twenty seven by jermwerm

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Submission Name: crop twenty seven dots

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Author:	jermwerm
ASL Info:	26/m/FRESNO CA
Elite Ratio:	4.29 - 203/268/83
Words:	89

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	754
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	481

Description:
It's my B day and as every year it sucks, alone, lost, doomed and spun with nothing to do, no where to go and no one to hold.
fuck it I guess.

crop twenty seven dots

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January morning fate,
spun & lost this night awake.
Twenty seven years of waste,
twenty seven years too late.
Forgotten dreams where candles gleam.
Glowing past vast tombs I see.
Velvet crest of jesting scrolls.
Lost in fields that no one knows.
So happy Birthday to me myself,
fuck it all, what the hell.
Another year of hopeless thoughts,
another twenty seven years to crop.

Submitted on 2006-01-21 06:27:05 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  Birthdays can be very very sad days. It's really too bad. I mean, if you think about it, what is a birthday anyways? I've been really using the whole time issue in a lot of my writing lately.... don't let a watch measure your life sort of thing, ya know? It's the establishment trying to screw with our heads!!! HAHA. Okay well... the poem flowed nicely. Very nicely actually... I get so afraid of getting old recently... because what if I wake up one day and I'm old and still haven't done anything with myself? It freaks me out. A lot. Peace...LucyDiamond
| Posted on 2006-02-19 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]
  well that has got to be one of the sadest poems that I have ever read. It is terrible to feel so lost and disipointed with life, I'm sure you ahve a purpose and are amking a difference whether you know it or not but as for the actual poem I really liked it, had a smoothness to it that really made it flow. The was a couple of spelling mistakes though in line 3 I assume that you mean "waste" and in line 6 I think that tomb ends in just "s" well have an excellent day I guess
Rosh
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by Rosh_5 | [ Reply to This ]
  Ohhhh! This is such a sad poem. After reading this I feel bad. I guess you must live on farmland, and maybe there is not enough exciting things to do or go where you live. I know those states where there is a lot of farming are pretty flat and seem to lack in a variety of things to do. I would suggest you make some changes in your life if you are unhappy. Life is indeed what you make it so if what you are doing is making you feel so bad, change it. I dont wanna give you no lecture though cause I think that is the last thing you wanna here. A couple spelling errors noted. Where you say "to late" it should be "too late" and "tombes" should be tombs. I hope things improve for you! Take care of yourself and Happy Birthday!

Lorna
| Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

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Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.