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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Summonsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Smee
    ASL Info:    17/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 28/33/11
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 172
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1408



    Description:
       This is the second part of a five part series, its my first stab at a fantasy peice and if it doesnt make any sense, and there is no reason why it should, i suggest you read 'creation', which is the first part.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummonsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Four squadrons flew to separate lands,
    Twenty strong with tooth and claw
    Message dropped in many hands
    On reading, sons fell to the floor.

    Son of stone, with name Tolock,
    King of southern peaks,
    Stood up, surveyed his land of rock
    Crushed the note and began to speak.

    ‘Loyal citizens of my state
    We have been called to serve our Lord.
    We, with brothers of other traits
    Must journey far and carry sword.’

    ‘Leave your daughters, wives and mothers
    Great rewards come from these toils
    We go to fight with weaker brothers
    And to the victors go the spoils.’

    This met with cries of misery
    Of deep despair and bitter sorrow
    But Tolock gave his last decree
    ‘We march to war, at dawn tomorrow!’

    First light next day, columns marched
    Eighty thousand men of stone
    Paced and spread through desert parched
    On north wind distant screams were blown.

    For many months and many miles
    These soldiers walked through day and night
    Keeping rigid, braced in files
    With swords in hand, prepared to fight.

    When they reached their journey’s end,
    The island their Lord was upon,
    A land that they could not comprehend
    They had reached the holy Avalon




    Submitted on 2006-01-21 12:52:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it and the flow was nice with exceptional imagery. Some of the rhyming was a little weak, which threw off the rhythym. (ex: upon & Avalon) Using rhyming words with different syllable counts, throws off the rhythym. Overall this is a good write. I also have written some fantasy verse. Check out "Seven Magic Mirrors" on my web page. I warn you it is over 140 verses (epic poem), so it is a bit daunting to read. -oixi
    | Posted on 2006-01-25 00:00:00 | by oixi | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, this is really a neat style of writing. I know someone who writes similar and i've always enjoyed his style, so now i enjoy yours. i love how it sounds historical with it's twist of fantasy interwoven there. keep up the good work.
    *barbie*
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by Meotoko | [ Reply to This ]



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