Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: BuDdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MC-Chillz
    ASL Info:    18/M/KS
    Elite Ratio:    3.28 - 36/35/6
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 773
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 739



    Description:
       just words....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBuDdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Kind Bud, is so good,
    Makin me feel like, I should,
    Why am I not a dealer? Gettin ripped.
    Makin that money, some major grip.

    Tired of....Ark City swag,
    Fuck you, and that bag,
    Fuck a sack of dried stems,
    Got pissed...broke all of his limbs.

    Hey man, you aint goin' to die,
    HAHA! You're always quick to cry,
    You give up? You better try,
    Wait here...I'm goin' to get high.

    Came back, had a dub sack,
    Rolled in blazed, looking phazed,
    The retard was gone,
    At least he left the bong.

    It's a new verse, where do I begin?
    Tryin' to light this weed, FUCK the wind.




    Submitted on 2006-01-21 17:18:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I am not into the generation of rap (old lady) but I enjoyed your effort. I am not sure of what message you were trying to put forward. I didn't get the plot if you know what I mean.

    Crackwalker
    | Posted on 2006-01-24 00:00:00 | by Crackwalker | [ Reply to This ]
      your style was fluid until the second to last stanza. otherwise, it would go great with a beat
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Yclipse | [ Reply to This ]
      This weas cool but some I didnt get Im just dumb I guess, and any thing about weed I like to read. As long as we free. hope you still with me. I see u took what I said. You had reread before u let it out your head out on this site you took time to make things right. keep it up.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by DrewDilla | [ Reply to This ]
      THis is good..though I'm not into rap(str8 up rocker:) I can appriciate a good write of any kind...this was kinda short but still pretty good...again nice flow...your style's pretty fluid...trust me some here really aren't;)
    peace.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey this is good. I love rap.
    Rap rhymes with crap but it isn't, it's good but could be better. Grip in line four doesn't rhyme that good with ripped. You need something like stripped, gripped, crypt, gypped. (gypped by the way means cheat) hope this helps.
    | Posted on 2006-01-21 00:00:00 | by emilythestrange | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    88361

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry